When my spouse and I got married in the late 1980s, our vows included the line "I promise to care for you when you are sick, and to allow you to care for me." That was abstract stuff for a couple of kids in their early 20s, but it stood the test when I ended up in hospital with an advanced cancer diagnosis two years ago.

For those of us lucky enough to be in long-term relationships, our partners are our first line of support when we have cancer, and most of them come through.

But who is supporting our partners, especially when we can't? That might be even a more important question than offers of help to us directly.