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Why My Fall Made Me Feel So Ashamed
Neuropathy | Last Active: Nov 6, 2023 | Replies (11)Comment receiving replies
Thank you for recommending the article. I especially like the comments, " When we’re injured, we’re suddenly separated from the herd of the healthy ", and "If we all could acknowledge our shared fragility, shame would disappear". Intellectually, I know it is crazy to feel embarrassment, shame, or acknowledge my fraility, but the intellect is often written off to our emotions! I had always been extremely independent, never asking for help with anything [to a fault], and when I started falling, I was devastated with embarrasment and shame. I was afraid of being seen as weak, frail, and a lesser person, which I know is crazy, but we can get some very crazy thoughts People didn't know how often I was falling. Only the falls that needed medical care were known. I didn't lie if I was asked if I had other falls, but I didn't offer up the info. I am sharing this to let you know how much I understand what you are going through, both physically and emotionally. I am not saying it is right to feel this way about falling, but I understand the feelings than can accompany the falling.
P
Replies to "Thank you for recommending the article. I especially like the comments, " When we’re injured, we’re..."
I have seizures. It started with the neuropathy. Since, I have had four hip surgeries an actebulum fracture I can’t get up on my own. Normally if family is not around 911 is called. My seizures are worse when I can’t sleep or the pain becomes way too much.
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Hello, pkh3381 (@pkh3381)
Fortunately, falls have not been a big problem for me up to this point. My wobbliness, however, due to my PN, has me constantly on guard. What struck me about Shapiro’s essay was the universality of our ways of handling falls or near falls.
I, too, have always been an extremely independent person, often to my own detriment. The need to now and then have to ask for a helping hand that came along with my PN has made for a tricky adjustment, not an impossible one, just a tricky one.
Shame is the big bugaboo. If only we (and here I’m saying “we,” when perhaps I should say “I”) could grow comfortable with admitting to our family and friends – and most importantly to ourselves – I’m not entirely the same person you’ve always known – not “entirely, please understand;” most of me is still me, but a few things have changed. That sort of sincerely-made admission might go a long way to eliminating shame.
My very best wishes to you!
Ray (@ray666)