That is a great question. About 14 months ago I received a diagnosis of rare aggressive cancer. Many offers of help. Offers of food were not useful--I wasn't eating much, my husband has always done food shopping & cooking as something he loves and didn't want to delegate. People left casseroles we ended up throwing out or passing to other people.
However, I came up with an idea. I set up committees.
There were two "real" ones--my actual support committee (husband, grown daughter, best friend) and an "ethics committee" composed of a spiritual support group I've long been a member of. This was for emergencies, hospitalizations, clergy visits, which I have not yet needed but is still in place.
Otherwise: a friend set up a prayer committee, and different people joined. The recommended reading is my fave--I get books & suggestions.
One committee has only one person on it--a therapist friend. This is the "please tell me if I'm acting crazy committee." So far so good!
Then, "Friends & Family Committee"--they get emails, updates, and are on-call for problems. Includes a close neighbor and a friend who is a palliative care nurse. They actually consult from time to time.
So maybe a bit silly, but very friendly, and it works! I really look forward to more comments. So important.