I agree with you, Dollyme. My wife isn't very impaired -- just enough that she wanted me to stay at home with her literally all the time, because she'd become very anxious about where I went, even if I told her and allowed her to call me by cell phone. I'd get questions about how long I was going to be gone, what time I'd be back, can I go there tomorrow, and would get phone calls telling me that she just liked to hear the sound of my voice. She became unable or unwilling to help out at home, and in her free time, would fall asleep in a recliner, while not sleeping well at night, so I had nobody to talk to. I am 11 years younger than my wife (66 and 78, respectively), and felt that I still had energy and wanted to travel, interact with others, and volunteer in the community. I placed her in a memory care facility of her choosing, and I won't say it has been totally successful, because she doesn't interact with others there and doesn't participate in group activities. Her personal hygiene has taken a nosedive to the extent that I don't like to be near her (I'm working on this), and when I ask her about showering and washing her hair, changing her clothes, etc. She'll say she knows she should do it, but then doesn't. I may have made some headway by offering to shampoo her hair myself, to which she agreed...but we haven't had our first attempt at this yet. I get into the guilt cycle, because the physical environment is so much nicer at home than at the memory care facility, but I really don't want her living here for the reasons stated above. Sometimes I feel like a bad or selfish person for lowering her standard of living, but it hasn't been much more successful from my side, as I get lonely and have to take care of everything household-related as well as everything facility-related. I'm trying to make new friends and go out more, but it's not happening as often as I would like.