@anoyymous123 Thanks for your response. I can see why the surgeon recommend a fusion (OLIF) then. Have you thought about working with a health coach about these spine issues? I was just at a workshop with a demonstration by a health coach and it is really valuable in helping to explore all the details and possible issues related to medical decisions.

As patients, when we are in the midst of a stressful and painful problem, it is sometimes hard to know what to do that would benefit us the most. Having a poor experience with a doctor doesn't help, and that can be mitigated with new opinions about how to solve the problem.

If no decision is made for an intervention, the time can expire during which the issue could have been addressed, and that can leave permanent disability, and a burden on those who need to care for that person who can no longer function well on their own. Hired help is very expensive if you can find it or afford it. Lifting a patient is not handled by typical caregiver agencies. When I was caring for my dad at the end of his life, I needed to have a Hoyer lift to get him in and out of bed and chairs as he could not do this himself and there were no agencies in the area that I could hire for this. It was incredibly difficult and exhausting to take care of him. This also impacted me financially because I couldn't work other than taking care of my parents.

These are things to think about in how to prepare for the future. I was suddenly thrust into being a round the clock caregiver for my parents because they refused to live anywhere but in their own home. How does your wife see her future going forward? What if her pain can be reduced with a new surgeon? I know from my spine experience, that was possible for me. Is that something you want to explore?