Hi Dollyme!
I certainly understand why your mother and step-mother are in facilities. I put my mother, diagnosed with Alzheimer's, in a nursing home after she broke her hip. She was nearby and I was able to visit her almost every day until her death 2 years later.
But it's different with my husband of 50 years, who has always taken care of his family and the house. I have only noticed his decline the last few years, and he was diagnosed with dementia about a year ago, probably Lewy Body or a mix of Alzheimer's and Lewy Body. We have an appointment at Mayo Clinic to perhaps get a more precise diagnosis and treatment. Right now he uses Rivastigmine patches. So far he takes care of his own hygiene. Some days he is able to function pretty well, some days he is more confused than others.
So we'll just muddle along as best we can until some event causes us to make a different decision. I'm grateful for the support from these Mayo Clinic newsletters.