This is my personal story. There is so much hope, I promise. Assuming you have a good Doctor, it is truly up to YOU and your personal health/goals and determination at the end of the day. Trust and honest communication with all of your providers helps tremendously.
Anxiety disorder, CPTSD, major depression and ADHD. For my symptoms, over the course of 7yrs, I’d been rxed Xanax 2mgs, 4x a day. Or 8mg. The maximum federal limit here in the U.S.
Was considered a “maintenance” patient, for the prescriptions. At one time, I really did need it,
as significant traumaS we’re still new, and I was border lining on a complete mental breakdown. Did it help throughout the years while stabilizing? At times. Absolutely.
Was it needed everyday as maintenance for so many years? No.
Scouring the internet, reading and hearing nothing but horror stories throughout those years, continued to negate me from even considering trying to taper. Though, I would never wish nor recommend half a day’s cold Turkey or super quick cessation on anyone. Understandably petrified from my own experiences and others’. So, the future didn’t seem likely at all in my case. Though, I’d had enough. Needing to plan my days, carrying a rx bottle in my purse for the magical “be gone” pill.. In reality, I’d become tied to a zombie meditation, with major long term use concerns at a very young age. When I look back, xanax just produced more anxiety and a deeper depression. Add that to physical inter dosage withdrawals, running out early, feeling dulled and with zero medication- I felt nothing but hopelessness, physically cramped with exhausting waves of PTSD freezing, constant tight muscles, hyper vigilance, agoraphobia etc. I would become unable to drive, disassociated and barricaded in my room. No Xanax meant I was unable to do anything, except contemplation of ending it all and holding onto the bed with crippling anxiety until passing out. I knew full well the spectrum of SSRI and W/D symptoms, including the possibility that one could literally die without benzodiazepines associated with overnight cessation.
Good news? The Ashton Method. Pitched it to my doctor. The first two months, I did on my own, solely to test the water but the true test was my will. I managed to decrease by 1mg each month. 8mg down to 6mg. Then the bigger “jump”, 6-4mg. All without a replacement benzo in-between. My doctor did offer solace if I could not handle it. But I tell you, the drop wasn’t as nearly as uncomfortable or horrific. Noticeable physical discomfort? Some, but at least I could function after Tylenol/Ibuprofen mix. Frankly, I was much more operable, efficient and didn’t feel as foggy. Only slight anxiety, but the kind that is breathable through. After two weeks, 4-3mgs. Same thing, just more clear and optimistic. Again, 3mg-2mg Xanax. Then switched to 20mg Valium for 1 month, and I was off.
Its been two months and couldn’t be more proud, healthy and sound. No long term withdrawals after almost a decade. I pray all of you will find something that works and all your fears are replaced with hope and determination, sooner than later. Which will ultimately lead to happiness. Take control and in moments of doubt, lean on your support but most importantly don’t allow the medication to control you any longer.