hi I am Joan and have had many spinal fusions and am left with chronic pain also. I do understand how you feel. No one wants to take medicine but sometimes it is necessary in order to function. Chronic pain is no different than someone that has a disease of heart problems, diabetes, etc. They take medicine to control it. There are many modalities to use like heat, ice, TENS unit, physical therapy, but also pain medicine. I too need them. Some days less and some days more. Weather affects me. Please don't feel down. Chronic pain is just that...chronic and needs to be dealt with. I have used the gabapentin with great results for nerve pain.