I just googled "crisis hotlines", and got the following info about the crisis #988: "What is 988? The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (formerly known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) offers 24/7 call, text and chat access to trained crisis counselors who can help people experiencing suicidal, substance use, and/or mental health crisis, or any other kind of emotional distress." I thought maybe this would be helpful because you are feeling trapped and need some good solid help with a solutiion to your problem. You could also google "crisis hotlines" for your State to get help with local assistance for someone in your type of situation. Please don't take this as a "cold" reply. I just really hear you, that many of the suggestions we have made don't work for your particular circumstances. Bottom line, you must get out of your living circumstances and relationship. Many of the crisis hotlines do not require you are suicidal. You can just talk [or, many of them are chat lines] and, as I understand it, they have many resources available to direct people to specific help for specific circimstances, which is why I have suggested this. You say you can't just go anywhere, but I am hoping you can place calls, or do chats? My heart goes out to you.❤️