What a depressed person expect from his girlfriend

I have a depression disorder and I would say it is probably the depression that you are dealing with. When I am in my "darkness", I reach out, pull back, reach out, pull back........it makes me a very, very difficult person to be in a relationship with, and I am the first to say it. I have ended many relationships because I cannot expect anyone to put up with that. I want more for the people I love. I don't want to put them through that. I appreciate that you are trying to be supportive and to be there for him, but you must not sacrifice your own needs for his. You must make sure that your needs are being met in any relationship you are in, including this one. That is not being mean, or selfish, it is loving yourself, and please don't forget that. He deserves support and understanding, but so do you, and if you are not getting that from him, then you are not doing him any good by sacrificing yourself for his needs. If you settle for less than you deserve, eventually you may feel resentment and the relationship won't survive. I would say, from my experience, that it is not that he does not appreciate what you are trying to do for him, but when he is in his darkness [depression], he will not be able to give you what you need. I cannot speak for him, I realize that, but I am just trying to give you some insight from my point of view. My heart goes out to you. ❤️❤️
P

Many years ago, I had a girlfriend who was depressive.
Initially (and naively) sympathetic, I came to realize I was being manipulated.
Over time, I became less and less sympathetic and eventually resentful.
Yes, I hurt her in the breakup, but I needed to take care of myself.
I have never regretted it.

May I, very gently, say something in response? As noted in my previous comment [pkh3381], I have a depression disorder and have fought with this in relationships all my life. In defense of the victim of depression, I wouldn't say she was manipulating you, intentionally anyhow. You were just a victim of her depression, I would say. When I do the push/pull thing I referenced, when I am in my darkness, I never intented to be manipulative, I truly didn't. But, I can see how it would seem that way. When you are in the midst of your darkness, the depression truly controls how you react/interact with people. You want someone with you, near you, but then you push them away. It is as hurtful to the depression victim as it is to the person trying to have a relationship with that person. It truly is. Just saying. Now, I could be totally wrong because I am only speaking from my experience, as a depression victim, and I don't know the actual circumstances of your relationship. And I completely acknowledge and empathize with the pain it caused you in your relationship, and support you in breaking off the relationship to protect yourself. That is totally understandable and very healthy. ❤️
P

That person loves you more then anything else when you don’t text him he assumes you’re seeing someone else or you are pre occupied with other things that’s more important then him he for some reason doesn’t like the situation he got himself with you there are all this negativity going on in one person’s way of thinking especially if he is on depression medication and if you love him and would like to see him come out of his depression change things around remodel his place get him a bigger tv furniture more bright colors of clothing like white color his walls white or off white open his windows take him on cruise or just anywhere new get him out
To a newer neighborhood or some where new change his life around show him you really love him and if he has lost family members snap him out of it by screaming at him and warning him of if he doesn’t change you will leave him but don’t ever leave him he loves you a lot i am saying this couse i am in the same situation and I hope it will work out for you and him

I am a damaged person: damaged people, damage people.

My wife lovingly supported me for five years while my illness destroyed everything we had built together. When she finally realized my illness would likely kill me, damage her beyond repair and hurt our children she did what she had to do to remove me from their lives.

Whether consciously or unconsciously her actions saved my life, hopefully reduced her suffering and (with all that I am), I hope kept our children safe and reduced the trauma in their lives. I will be grateful to her until draw my last breath. I believe her actions turned out the way they did because she acted out of love and not fear for what she might lose.

When I travel on an airplane I always note that during the safety briefing passengers are told to put on their own oxygen mask before helping anyone else, even their children. I've aways wondered if I would do that. Now I know if I do not take of myself first I can not help anyone else, including those I love the most.

Look to the love you feel and you will know what's right. Sometimes the right decision is much harder than the one we might want to make.

I hope you have peace and joy in your life and the same to your boyfriend.

Unfortunately he is not giving me the chance to be around him he doesn't answer my phone calls and refuse to see me even when I pass by his house he denies himself .now we only text

I am sorry, but are you kidding me? "remodel his place get him a bigger tv furniture more bright colors of clothing like white color his walls white or off white open his windows take him on cruise or just anywhere new get him out", "screaming at him and warning him of if he doesn’t change you will leave him "???? Buy him something? Take him on a cruise? Scream at him? Threaten him? I probably shouldn't even respond, but I don't want anyone to take your advice seriously. Trust me, as a person with a depresson disorder, and a person with her own mind, these are not valid ways to deal with anyone who is suffering depression. I'm sorry, I just had to say it.
P

He is trying to isolate himself he may have another girlfriend or issue i may be wrong its really strange but it’s definitely part of depression

It definitely helped me when my wife did all that and I hope it will also help someone else who is struggling with depression

A person suffering from depression of course isolated more and more each time they slip deeper. I was in an abusive relationship for years the ending of it is when the depression but the hardest, it lasted 38 years. I struggle with it everyday , now my son who has always had issues , depression , bipolar disorder has come out of a 4 year marriage , she took there kids and started a new life with an much older man. How sad. He too withdraws from life. All people who suffer mental health suffer greatly , they don't want to hurt anyone but they usually do , the ones that they are closest too.