Hi, everyone, and
Hi RMS, your post really resonated with me!

RMS, thank you for your service as a nurse! I can only imagine how difficult it was in the early days of Covid. And "difficult" is a completely insufficient word to describe it.

RMS, I was a classroom teacher until my first bout of Covid in Oct. of 2020. I am pretty sure that I caught it at school even though I was super vigilant about following all protocols. Unfortunately, many of my co-workers and the school families were not.

Long Covid in 2020-- nobody believed it! Such gas-lighting. I was made to feel guilty about not returning to work or doing extended family chores. The doctors were little help-- not really their fault at the time. Post-exertion malaise was accute! It's been 2 years and 364 days, and I still am not back to where I was pre-Covid. I can't work.

RMS, your use of the word "grief" to describe the loss of a profession is so apt. That is how I have been feeling. While I didn't save lives like you, I hope that as a teacher I helped my students improve theirs. I miss everything about teaching. Well, I don't miss doing grades, to be scrupulously honest. Since my own children are grown and out of the house, my students really filled that void. I miss the intellectual stimulation, the conversation with colleagues, the challenges...all the stuff you mentioned. It's like my purpose in life is gone. I don't have grandkids, and I think that realistically my husband might be better off without me now.

I am talking with a therapist, and she has been very helpful, especially with bizarre post-Covid anxiety. We haven't really discussed the grief aspect of not teaching anymore.

A few weeks ago-- probably at the start of the new school year, I finally realized that I probably will never have my own classroom again, never will teach again. It's time to give away or throw out all of the goofy things that I kept around my classroom to make it a cheerful, fun, happy place. And all of the tests and handouts and learning aides that I worked so hard on to help my students learn...Still makes me wanna cry now as I type.

I'm afraid to volunteer because of Covid and because of the immunosupressant (spelling?) medication I take for another, pre-existing condition.
I'm afraid to socialize inside for the same reasons. Most of my siblings are anti-vaxers and don't follow any kind of protocols-- even though they know what kind of medication I take.
I have one friend left.

Here's my last bit: When the governor of my state closed all of the schools in March of 2020, I found out when I had an IV dripping my immune-system suppressing medication into my arm. It was a shock. It was a good idea to shut down but still a shock. One of the most challenging times of my life was teaching via Zoom and computers. The students struggled mightily, too.

Well, if anyone has read all of this post, I thank you!
I never would have believed it, but there is comfort to be had on this computer forum, knowing other people feel the same things!

Brain fog and stupid = me, too!

Hope everyone has "as good as it gets" ! 🙂