@jjevits, you are so welcome. Those long nights are so tough to get through! The thoughts and fears and images keep coming. I do what I can at that point...get up long enough to write down ideas I want to remember or questions I need to ask, grab a hot water bottle and hug it, focus on my out-breath, making it longer than my in-breath, repeat soothing mantras/prayers/songs, or just get up and (as quietly as possible) move my body to allow the chemistry of fear to get out (pushing on a wall, pacing or running in place). Surfing this group can reassure me that I'm not alone, or can scare me even more at times, so I have to be careful about that choice. Sometimes watching the stars and imagining others who may be seeking comfort from their places in the world as well feels a bit soothing. The fears and worries keep coming back, so I have to repeat and repeat and repeat what might help for just a few moments until exhaustion allows me to watch the patterns inside my eyelids, or morning comes and I can seek support from others. Again, wishing you clear information, viable choices, opportunities to move forward and bomb-proof support from those who must care about you very much.
Gynosaur