Hello to all my fellow withdrawal sufferers!

19 years ago I was prescribed 37.5 Venlafaxine XR capsules for postpartum depression. My youngest of three was 4 months when I fell apart at his well baby checkup. I was a hot mess of tears and frustration. (Looking back I now see that it was more a lack of help from my spouse that put me in that state…but that’s a different story) .

During the almost two decades I took Effexor/Venlafaxine I have attempted many times to wean off the drug, with doctor approval. I have been on the lowest dosage so I was instructed to take them every other day. I suppose I am ultra sensitive to the withdrawal symptoms as first few hours past the “off day” missed dose I began experiencing withdrawal:

1. Tinnitus - it does not come and go. Nope, this bad boy stays and squeeeeeals with no reprieve.
2. Vertigo - I am dizzy and off balance and often liken the feeling to trying to swim through wet cement or jello. My limbs feel like they are lagging after the rest of me.
3. Tingles - My tongue and gums feels numb and/or tingly.
4. Experience emotional extremes - I am a roller coaster! Watching the news had me sobbing when normally I might have merely felt sad. Explaining to a friend that I was staying in this weekend had me in tears. Driving to get groceries and experienced the WORST road rage (admittedly, there was no cause for my behavior. I’m so embarrassed by how I snapped at being tailgated). Typing this has me weepy. I recognize this is the withdrawal, but that doesn’t make it easier to “control” my emotions.
5. Lethargy - I could easily watch tv most of the day, when usually I watch 2-3 hours a week!
6. Poor diet - I normally eat clean/paleo foods, but I crave sugar and carbs and junk food and alcohol.

My most recent weaning has been with my primary care physician’s blessing. The first two weeks I tried taking a dose every other day, but that was too extreme for me. Since I take capsules I can’t cut a pill in half, but I have been opening them to remove pellets from each. I initially halved the dosage and took a regular dose for two days then a half dose one day. Two weeks later I did every other day. Two weeks after that I took the half dose for two days and a regular dose for one. Then I took a quarter dose two days and a half dose for one day. Then a quarter dose every other day.

With a three day weekend, I ripped off the proverbial bandaid. I stopped taking any Venlafaxine. I am struggling! But I think I may have figured out a quasi-solution: the pellets I took out are still in a jar. Twice today I licked the tip of my pinky finger and tapped the pellets. I got about 5-8 “sprinkles” in a serious micro dose. This may be my best approach to sanity in this. No, I’m not completely off the drug, but I’m okay with that.

Damn, but I HATE this withdrawal!!!