Hi afb760,

You are about the same age as my son...If it's not too creepy, let me say that I wish I could reach through the computer and give you a big, warm hug.

I know what you mean about being embarrassed. I have to get a lung screening every year for smoking. When I go, I say to myself, "at least I am trying to take care of myself." which is much better than not trying and giving up.

And you know what? I can't think of a single solitary medical person who ever seemed to judge me. The lung screening people treated me the same as the ladies who do my other screenings. So, it might not be as embarrassing as you think it will be.

Most people, especially medical folks, know that alcoholism is an illness. There is a huge genetic component, too. There is a lot of it in my family. So, don't be embarrassed to get help. I don't think they will judge you. If they do, then go someplace better! : )

The other people here have given great advice!

I don't have liver problems, but I see a lot of doctors for a systemic disease. You might be getting a lot of information and paperwork from the doctors. You might want to get
* a copybook (to write down your questions beforehand, as John suggested earlier, and to write down the doctor's answers). I use it between appointments and for all of my doctors.
On the top of the page, I write the doctor's name, specialty, and the date.
One doctor that I see a lot just reads through my copybook himself when I go see him. (He's a dear. I don't think he has to shave everyday yet.)
* a folder- A lot of doctors' offices give handouts and give you a printed paper summary of the appointment with instructions about what to do next. It's handy to have one place to keep the papers.
For some scans, you have to do certain things, like not eat, beforehand. They will give you an instruction sheet. You can keep it in the folder.
* a calendar- so you can write in appointments. Maybe you do this on your computer or phone, though. I use paper cuz I'm getting old- ha.
* a bag- okay, this sounds weird, but I keep all of my doctor stuff -- the notebook, folder, pens--in a canvass bag all of the time, even at home. It's all in one place and I know where it is. And I take it to the doctor and to any place I go for scans, xrays, etc.

Wow, this got long...sorry about that.

Just one more thing that I don't think anyone else has mentioned. I have a mental health therapist who has helped me learn to cope with my illness, which really impacts my entire life and has caused a lot of problems (lost my job, on disability) and changes and upheavals in my life, especially in the last 3 years. My therapist really has helped me find my strength to get through all kinds of s...t/ stuff. At one point, I had to change therapists. The first was ok, but my current lady really understands me and my situation. So, I guess I'm saying don't be discouraged from therapy because one therapist wasn't all that helpful.

Bless you! Keep us posted!