I understand your struggle as I have gone thru it myself. Have you considered a good quality CBD supplement? That helped me a lot! Also, short exercise routines...15 minutes is enough. When I felt the "bad" time coming on, I put on you tube and found an aerobic or dance workout. The results are quite amazing, as it produces some natural endorphins and gets you out of your head. I wish you the best, and know that what you're going thru is not forever. Once you get thru it, there is a better, more peaceful place waiting for you.