Day 2 with the stimulator controller turned on. My feet hurt pretty much the same as before. I hope it gets better than this. The surgery sites hurt much less, but by the end of the day, I'm quite sore, and can't lie on my back. The battery pack is quite prominent because I don't have any body fat above the belt line where it's implanted, so it could cause discomfort for a while. The incision for the wires is swollen a little, but I've probably been doing more than I should. Weeding, watering lawns and gardens, cleaned my bathroom, including polishing the tile floor on my knees. Don't tell my doctor.

At the same time as all of this, I had a sleep study, and yesterday ordered a BIPAP machine, that will replace the CPAP I've been using for 15+ years, plus I changed from a full face mask to nasal pillows. The pillows are a lot more comfortable.

Talking with the therapist yesterday, I noted that my depression level is better than it's been the past few weeks. I guess the stress and anxiety of having the implant has made me more depressed. I don't know if I've mentioned my mental health issues in this group. I'm being treated for major depression, PTSD, anxiety disorder, and suicidal ideation. When chronic pain entered the picture 5 years ago, it exacerbated the mental illness. My last therapist moved to a new job 2 years ago, and I couldn't get back into therapy for 18 months. I told my new counselor that he probably saved my life because I was having more thoughts of suicide the last 2 or 3 months before he came.

Past time for bed. I always look at the mail after cleaning up the supper dishes, so I tend to write at a late hour. I need to take my morphine and Clonazepam, rub Lidocaine cream on my feet, hook up to the CPAP, and sleep. Life is more complicated than it was 20 years ago, but God is still taking care of me, in spite of my inadequacies.

Jim

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