I understand what you say, I really do. I have only one child, and her two daughters [twins], and for reasons I do not know or understand, I too, have been abandoned. I made them my life. They were my dreams and hopes. I am told by my psychologist and friends that she is being abusive to me, and that I need to walk away. I have been trying to "fix" this for years, and I can't seem to give up. You say, "if i wasn't their mother, I'd walk away". I know, I know. She is my child, they are my grandchildren. They are my only family. How do I walk away.?That is truth to me. How do I walk away? Your words have spoken to me. I am here if you need to 'talk". I think you would be surprised how many adults, parents, like us, who find themselves in the same type of situations, and have no idea why. We are truly not alone. This is not how we were raised, and I don't think I raised my daughter this way. I was joyous at the idea that my parents moved closer to me, when they were my age, so that I could take care of them, look after them, near the end of their lives. They were both dead within 6 months of their move, and within 6 mos of each other's death. I would have loved to take care of them.
When I sob, I feel like a mother animal whose young have been taken, and who "bays" with her pain. No matter what, she is my "baby". I was so close to my granddaughters, I call them, "my girls". They called me "Gamma", and now they are nearly 18, close to being off to college. And, I have no idea why this happened. Possibly she has an abusive husband, my psychologist says, but even more so, in that situation, how do I walk away, as her mother? I truly get it, and my heart goes out to you.
❤️P