I totally understand your pain and desperation and cry when I read these posts. I have had some very dark moments and some very angry moments. My colitis started after a round of a broad acting antibiotic which should not have been prescribed for a UTI. I am very angry at my PCP who essentially caused my problem and then basically abandoned me or told me to go see a gastro doctor, which then took me another two months to get in. These become chronic or self reinforcing conditions because we have to keep eating and irritating the colon while it tries to heal. I can’t give you medical advice but try to eat things that are calming to the gut. Clear chicken broth, jello, etc. I take slippery elm pills between meals which is soothing to the lining of the gut. I am trying to eat small meals throughout the day and sometimes drink chicken broth instead of water. I have lost a lot of weight and I am struggling with this. I don’t have a firm diagnosis yet. I have some form of colitis but sure. I also take Florastor twice a day and one Align daily. You are not alone but I know it often feels that way.