I am with you in a way, as I keep going in and out of this way of thinking... They know best, they have the most experience with this, they are weighing many factors — most of which I am definitely not an expert in.

I asked during my treatment if one could have mets to other organs without going through the lymph nodes and the answer I got, reluctantly, is yes. So that's disconcerting.

I agree it is about control — this has been such an out of control experience and so this is what I do as a Type A person. And there is the cost factor, and people who need it more than I do.

I am highly skeptical of what I see as our mostly profits over people, patriarchal health care system. Given the rate at which this cancer impacts and sometimes kills women, I think we deserve aggressive treatment, and full pictures of our disease. I spoke with a woman who found she had not one as they had biopsied, but 4 tumors upon her post biopsy/diagnosis breast surgery. I asked if she had an MRI before her surgery. She's a nurse. She said she did not qualify for one through her insurance. To me that's infuriating.

How can I as a breast cancer survivor with dense breast tissue go back to the same routine, yearly mammogram schedule when that likely missed my cancer to begin with?

I don't know - this is what's on my mind right now. It's clearly much more typical to trust in the care I am receiving and quietly go on about my life. But for some reason I can't.