Yep, I will start.
My husband was so freaked out he couldn’t really talk about it with me. He later told me he would just break down in fear of losing me during my initial treatments. He was there for me❣️. He picked me up at work on treatment days and made sure I had my blanket. Sat with me until they gave me the sedative and I went to sleep. He would leave and go to work but 6 hours later when the infusions were done, he would be there waking me up and taking me home.
Over the next 4 or 5 days when I spent most of my time sick and aching, he would try anything to feed me, and sometimes would make 2 or 3 trips out to get me something only to have my tastebuds refuse what my brain wanted.
The minute I would start to feel better between treatments he was right there trying to help with anything I needed, as I was quite weak and underweight. He gave up cooking himself eggs for sandwiches and ate peanut butter and jelly for a year, because I couldn’t stand the smell.
He was my rock in every way. Now that he has had bone cancer for 13 years and has been struggling and I am the primary caregiver here, people call us the love story for the ages. I agree 💕💕
I am sure there are many women with great stories of support and I am one of them. When I was far enough along in my tests that I was pretty sure I knew what was coming, I sat my husband down and told him I thought my biopsy would reveal cancer and we were going to stay calm and fight this. From that point forward, he was there with me every step of the way. I had 2 separate rounds of chemo totaling 18, a mastectomy, a punctured lung, a seroma and numerous medical appointments. He would never allow me to do any of it alone. He was there every minute. I could get teary just thinking about how fortunate I am. While I am happy to share my good fortune in having my husband, there are men who care just as much, but their own make up does not allow them to handle this as well. How ever you do it, get through it together.
My husband and I were finishing up our Bradley classes to have our baby in the beginning of March 2020 when I found my lump, and I asked every nurse in midwife I had about it because it kept growing. At my 6-week midwife follow-up it had expanded to about the size of a lime so my midwife ordered an ultrasound for a month later, assuming it was a cyst, since it had grown from an almond that March.
The ultrasound came back BRads 5 - 95% or more likely to be malignant. We had to scramble to find a primary care who would see us over video to get the ball rolling since the radiologist couldn't just work with the midwife team since they were only about the baby.
I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer which is a very different type of breast cancer that fortunately only a minority of us get. While we were waiting for a biopsy and some hospital Hang-Ups the cancer spread to a lymph node, my chest wall, and my skin.
We had had an initial with my primary care but she hadn't gone over the pathology report and had just said a meeting with some folks a a couple weeks later - the oncologist, the surgeon, etc.
When the cancer got into my skin it was like searing pain. My husband was irate at the delays and called every single phone number we had until he got a meeting set up with us the next day with my surgeon, and she got the ball rolling.
Things like a genetic test which I had called about and they had said they can do in november, she was able to schedule within a few days, and within two weeks I had had 12 doctor's appointments and was sitting down to my first round of chemotherapy as we raced to make sure it did not get into my bloodstream.
During all this Mike took over taking care of the baby, he did all the night bottles, and would take care of all the diapering when I would get my PET CT scans and was radioactive. I had three different surgeries where I had lifting restrictions and could not lift the baby so he carried him and took him to the park . We had a friend move in with us as well to help but Mike took over taking care of our baby, and taking care of me, although he often said he felt like Spider-Man torn between the two.
Our family's reactions to the seriousness of the cancer where to just stay positive and not really do anything other than that, but Mike and I realized that we are more of a planning team. We always plans for stage four and stage 3 so we would know what was down the road.
Together we got through and are now able to raise our son together.
My husband is my second spouse--I was widowed young. We were also high school sweethearts, reunited in our forties and now married over 25 years! A year ago I was diagnosed with a rare NET in my breast. It was very difficult to get in to see experts, difficult to get a pathology report, almost impossible to get scans, difficult to get any sort of understandable treatment plan, difficult to deal with co-morbities, insurance, appointments...etc. He is a wonderful guy, but the real reason I'm writing is that he came up with an an amazing idea:
We wrote a contract just as this was starting.
We each privately wrote what we could do for the other. Then we met, and shared. Then he wrote the whole thing up and we signed it. Pretty unique! The items were a bit personal and idiosyncratic. For example, we both promised to take care of ourselves emotionally and socially. I promised to not just descend into nihilism, as is my wont. Some things were practical. Some more on the "I'm here for you" level. The greatest part was to see and understand what I could do for him, incapacitated as I was. This is a great question--am loving the answers. Thank you!
Steve and I had reconnected and rekindled love after a 40 year gap in our relationship (due to a lost letter of proposal) and the miracle of information available on the internet. After a year of absolute joy, I found a lump and had the talk that included it would be ok if he wanted to back out of our plans to live together ( we are both in our late 60’s). Instead, we had a beautiful wedding and the following month my mastectomy. That was a year and half ago. He has been at my side, holding my hand, staying with me during chemo, driving to radiation therapy, cheering me on days when I’m down. I could not get through this journey without him. I know there was divine intervention in Steve finding my phone number 4 decades after our last conversation.
Yep, I will start.
My husband was so freaked out he couldn’t really talk about it with me. He later told me he would just break down in fear of losing me during my initial treatments. He was there for me❣️. He picked me up at work on treatment days and made sure I had my blanket. Sat with me until they gave me the sedative and I went to sleep. He would leave and go to work but 6 hours later when the infusions were done, he would be there waking me up and taking me home.
Over the next 4 or 5 days when I spent most of my time sick and aching, he would try anything to feed me, and sometimes would make 2 or 3 trips out to get me something only to have my tastebuds refuse what my brain wanted.
The minute I would start to feel better between treatments he was right there trying to help with anything I needed, as I was quite weak and underweight. He gave up cooking himself eggs for sandwiches and ate peanut butter and jelly for a year, because I couldn’t stand the smell.
He was my rock in every way. Now that he has had bone cancer for 13 years and has been struggling and I am the primary caregiver here, people call us the love story for the ages. I agree 💕💕
I am sure there are many women with great stories of support and I am one of them. When I was far enough along in my tests that I was pretty sure I knew what was coming, I sat my husband down and told him I thought my biopsy would reveal cancer and we were going to stay calm and fight this. From that point forward, he was there with me every step of the way. I had 2 separate rounds of chemo totaling 18, a mastectomy, a punctured lung, a seroma and numerous medical appointments. He would never allow me to do any of it alone. He was there every minute. I could get teary just thinking about how fortunate I am. While I am happy to share my good fortune in having my husband, there are men who care just as much, but their own make up does not allow them to handle this as well. How ever you do it, get through it together.
I'm so happy to hear your story; what a long, hard road you have travelled together! Thanks for sharing. You are absolutely correct, some people do care just as much, but can't/don't know how to help. I don't want to make anyone feel bad if their partner isn't quite as supportive, but I do love to hear any feel-good stories 🙂
My husband and I were finishing up our Bradley classes to have our baby in the beginning of March 2020 when I found my lump, and I asked every nurse in midwife I had about it because it kept growing. At my 6-week midwife follow-up it had expanded to about the size of a lime so my midwife ordered an ultrasound for a month later, assuming it was a cyst, since it had grown from an almond that March.
The ultrasound came back BRads 5 - 95% or more likely to be malignant. We had to scramble to find a primary care who would see us over video to get the ball rolling since the radiologist couldn't just work with the midwife team since they were only about the baby.
I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer which is a very different type of breast cancer that fortunately only a minority of us get. While we were waiting for a biopsy and some hospital Hang-Ups the cancer spread to a lymph node, my chest wall, and my skin.
We had had an initial with my primary care but she hadn't gone over the pathology report and had just said a meeting with some folks a a couple weeks later - the oncologist, the surgeon, etc.
When the cancer got into my skin it was like searing pain. My husband was irate at the delays and called every single phone number we had until he got a meeting set up with us the next day with my surgeon, and she got the ball rolling.
Things like a genetic test which I had called about and they had said they can do in november, she was able to schedule within a few days, and within two weeks I had had 12 doctor's appointments and was sitting down to my first round of chemotherapy as we raced to make sure it did not get into my bloodstream.
During all this Mike took over taking care of the baby, he did all the night bottles, and would take care of all the diapering when I would get my PET CT scans and was radioactive. I had three different surgeries where I had lifting restrictions and could not lift the baby so he carried him and took him to the park . We had a friend move in with us as well to help but Mike took over taking care of our baby, and taking care of me, although he often said he felt like Spider-Man torn between the two.
Our family's reactions to the seriousness of the cancer where to just stay positive and not really do anything other than that, but Mike and I realized that we are more of a planning team. We always plans for stage four and stage 3 so we would know what was down the road.
Together we got through and are now able to raise our son together.
Oh my, I can't even imagine getting the news so soon after childbirth. How wonderful that your hubs made things happen with your treatment, and then became Mr. Mom 🙂
My husband is my second spouse--I was widowed young. We were also high school sweethearts, reunited in our forties and now married over 25 years! A year ago I was diagnosed with a rare NET in my breast. It was very difficult to get in to see experts, difficult to get a pathology report, almost impossible to get scans, difficult to get any sort of understandable treatment plan, difficult to deal with co-morbities, insurance, appointments...etc. He is a wonderful guy, but the real reason I'm writing is that he came up with an an amazing idea:
We wrote a contract just as this was starting.
We each privately wrote what we could do for the other. Then we met, and shared. Then he wrote the whole thing up and we signed it. Pretty unique! The items were a bit personal and idiosyncratic. For example, we both promised to take care of ourselves emotionally and socially. I promised to not just descend into nihilism, as is my wont. Some things were practical. Some more on the "I'm here for you" level. The greatest part was to see and understand what I could do for him, incapacitated as I was. This is a great question--am loving the answers. Thank you!
That is a very unique idea! This would be another good thing to discuss before getting married, along with the more usual do you want kids, how many, how do we handle finances...How will we deal with unexpected illness/medical emergencies? Also, I love that you used the word "wont."
Steve and I had reconnected and rekindled love after a 40 year gap in our relationship (due to a lost letter of proposal) and the miracle of information available on the internet. After a year of absolute joy, I found a lump and had the talk that included it would be ok if he wanted to back out of our plans to live together ( we are both in our late 60’s). Instead, we had a beautiful wedding and the following month my mastectomy. That was a year and half ago. He has been at my side, holding my hand, staying with me during chemo, driving to radiation therapy, cheering me on days when I’m down. I could not get through this journey without him. I know there was divine intervention in Steve finding my phone number 4 decades after our last conversation.
Ahhh, what a story! It reminds me of the British TV show As Time Goes By; young love is reunited many decades later. Swoon. I'm so happy divine intervention brought you back together!
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Yep, I will start.
My husband was so freaked out he couldn’t really talk about it with me. He later told me he would just break down in fear of losing me during my initial treatments. He was there for me❣️. He picked me up at work on treatment days and made sure I had my blanket. Sat with me until they gave me the sedative and I went to sleep. He would leave and go to work but 6 hours later when the infusions were done, he would be there waking me up and taking me home.
Over the next 4 or 5 days when I spent most of my time sick and aching, he would try anything to feed me, and sometimes would make 2 or 3 trips out to get me something only to have my tastebuds refuse what my brain wanted.
The minute I would start to feel better between treatments he was right there trying to help with anything I needed, as I was quite weak and underweight. He gave up cooking himself eggs for sandwiches and ate peanut butter and jelly for a year, because I couldn’t stand the smell.
He was my rock in every way. Now that he has had bone cancer for 13 years and has been struggling and I am the primary caregiver here, people call us the love story for the ages. I agree 💕💕
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Hug
19 ReactionsI am sure there are many women with great stories of support and I am one of them. When I was far enough along in my tests that I was pretty sure I knew what was coming, I sat my husband down and told him I thought my biopsy would reveal cancer and we were going to stay calm and fight this. From that point forward, he was there with me every step of the way. I had 2 separate rounds of chemo totaling 18, a mastectomy, a punctured lung, a seroma and numerous medical appointments. He would never allow me to do any of it alone. He was there every minute. I could get teary just thinking about how fortunate I am. While I am happy to share my good fortune in having my husband, there are men who care just as much, but their own make up does not allow them to handle this as well. How ever you do it, get through it together.
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Helpful -
Hug
12 ReactionsOh yes I have the best. ❤️
My husband and I were finishing up our Bradley classes to have our baby in the beginning of March 2020 when I found my lump, and I asked every nurse in midwife I had about it because it kept growing. At my 6-week midwife follow-up it had expanded to about the size of a lime so my midwife ordered an ultrasound for a month later, assuming it was a cyst, since it had grown from an almond that March.
The ultrasound came back BRads 5 - 95% or more likely to be malignant. We had to scramble to find a primary care who would see us over video to get the ball rolling since the radiologist couldn't just work with the midwife team since they were only about the baby.
I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer which is a very different type of breast cancer that fortunately only a minority of us get. While we were waiting for a biopsy and some hospital Hang-Ups the cancer spread to a lymph node, my chest wall, and my skin.
We had had an initial with my primary care but she hadn't gone over the pathology report and had just said a meeting with some folks a a couple weeks later - the oncologist, the surgeon, etc.
When the cancer got into my skin it was like searing pain. My husband was irate at the delays and called every single phone number we had until he got a meeting set up with us the next day with my surgeon, and she got the ball rolling.
Things like a genetic test which I had called about and they had said they can do in november, she was able to schedule within a few days, and within two weeks I had had 12 doctor's appointments and was sitting down to my first round of chemotherapy as we raced to make sure it did not get into my bloodstream.
During all this Mike took over taking care of the baby, he did all the night bottles, and would take care of all the diapering when I would get my PET CT scans and was radioactive. I had three different surgeries where I had lifting restrictions and could not lift the baby so he carried him and took him to the park . We had a friend move in with us as well to help but Mike took over taking care of our baby, and taking care of me, although he often said he felt like Spider-Man torn between the two.
Our family's reactions to the seriousness of the cancer where to just stay positive and not really do anything other than that, but Mike and I realized that we are more of a planning team. We always plans for stage four and stage 3 so we would know what was down the road.
Together we got through and are now able to raise our son together.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
12 ReactionsMy husband is my second spouse--I was widowed young. We were also high school sweethearts, reunited in our forties and now married over 25 years! A year ago I was diagnosed with a rare NET in my breast. It was very difficult to get in to see experts, difficult to get a pathology report, almost impossible to get scans, difficult to get any sort of understandable treatment plan, difficult to deal with co-morbities, insurance, appointments...etc. He is a wonderful guy, but the real reason I'm writing is that he came up with an an amazing idea:
We wrote a contract just as this was starting.
We each privately wrote what we could do for the other. Then we met, and shared. Then he wrote the whole thing up and we signed it. Pretty unique! The items were a bit personal and idiosyncratic. For example, we both promised to take care of ourselves emotionally and socially. I promised to not just descend into nihilism, as is my wont. Some things were practical. Some more on the "I'm here for you" level. The greatest part was to see and understand what I could do for him, incapacitated as I was. This is a great question--am loving the answers. Thank you!
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
10 ReactionsSteve and I had reconnected and rekindled love after a 40 year gap in our relationship (due to a lost letter of proposal) and the miracle of information available on the internet. After a year of absolute joy, I found a lump and had the talk that included it would be ok if he wanted to back out of our plans to live together ( we are both in our late 60’s). Instead, we had a beautiful wedding and the following month my mastectomy. That was a year and half ago. He has been at my side, holding my hand, staying with me during chemo, driving to radiation therapy, cheering me on days when I’m down. I could not get through this journey without him. I know there was divine intervention in Steve finding my phone number 4 decades after our last conversation.
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10 ReactionsOh my gosh, a love story for the ages; that is just beautiful. What a team! Thanks for going first!
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2 ReactionsI'm so happy to hear your story; what a long, hard road you have travelled together! Thanks for sharing. You are absolutely correct, some people do care just as much, but can't/don't know how to help. I don't want to make anyone feel bad if their partner isn't quite as supportive, but I do love to hear any feel-good stories 🙂
-
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Hug
4 ReactionsOh my, I can't even imagine getting the news so soon after childbirth. How wonderful that your hubs made things happen with your treatment, and then became Mr. Mom 🙂
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1 ReactionThat is a very unique idea! This would be another good thing to discuss before getting married, along with the more usual do you want kids, how many, how do we handle finances...How will we deal with unexpected illness/medical emergencies? Also, I love that you used the word "wont."
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Helpful -
Hug
3 ReactionsAhhh, what a story! It reminds me of the British TV show As Time Goes By; young love is reunited many decades later. Swoon. I'm so happy divine intervention brought you back together!
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Helpful -
Hug
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