Dear Chris (and fellow Connect supporters) ~

I'd like to elaborate on the importance and timing of your post (Chris). Also, I'd like to share this info so it may help someone else.

The evening you messaged me back was a very difficult and painful one for me which is why you moved me to tears. Not only was your reply kind, sincere and supportive, but it also showed how much you pay attention to each persons needs and conditions in this forum.

I had made poor choices that day. One, I consumed too much sugar and two, I took my THC dose 5 hours apart instead of my usual 6 hours, out of desperation.

I had not been treating myself well by consuming muffins each day leading up, a candy bar the day prior, then on that particular day...a chocolate shake. Call me bone headed but, the last time I got spiteful about my condition and ate a half bag of marshmallows, I paid the price the next morning with nerves firing up beyond the normal misery. So yes, I should have known better.

THC side effects hit me 1 1/2 - 2 hours after consumption. Boy did they hit me with fury that night. I could not move, lift my head or function from severe dizziness, nausea,, dry eyes, dry mouth, disorientation, brain fogg. It was very scary.

During this time, I also was in the mother of all pain flares. More extreme than usual. My guess... sugar. Debilitating pain, spasm, burning fire, cramping, numbness. I felt contorted and was in such a poor state from the THC side effects that I lay there suffering...mentally talking myself through it and focusing on slow, deep breathing. I contemplated going to urgent care (despite my embarrassment) but, decided to persevere and make myself ride it out.

After a total of 4 hours, between pain attacks settling with my next dose of hydrocodone and the THC wearing away,...I came to.
That's when I eventually looked at my phone and saw your reply Chris.

Man oh man did it move me to tears. They say timing is everything and your timing was impeccable! You presented a reflection of my strength that I felt I had just voided from my mistakes. It overwhelmed me in the moment.

My point here is... this physical and mental journey of pain continues to make me (us) learn, grow and test the boundaries of our inner strength. Even though I made wrong choices that day that did not benefit me...I learned from them and I hope others will too. We are all human and all we want is to live comfortably to the best of our abilities with love, support, encouragement and kindness.

Thank you Chris, Jim, Lori Renee, John and many, many others in Connect, from the bottom of my heart, for riding shotgun with me down the incredibly bumpy road. May you all be well this evening and not drinking shakes! (wink, wink)

~Rachel

Jump to this post