I wrote previously on this thread that I had come to the conclusion that I have neither Major Depressive Disorder nor Bipolar Disorder.

I assembled a great deal of research supporting that contention and presented it to my mental health provider and to my PCP. They accepted my findings enough to help me go forward with discontinuing my medication until I can’t go any further or I am off all of it.

I have not done this recklessly. I am on parole from a crime committed when I was on lot of medication. I am monitored very closely. Here is my progress so far.

I am down to five meds, six if you count Testosterone supplementation. My meds are 40mg of Latuda to help manage the discontinuation symptoms. Lithium 450mg down from 900mg, no longer at therapeutic levels. Bupropion 225 mg from 450mg and Venlafaxine 225mg, also down from 450mg.

The testosterone is to offset the effects of the antidepressants that block testosterone production or uptake, I can’t remember right now.

It’s been three months since we started and I feel the best I have in my entire life. One big downside is that I don’t sleep more than three hours at a time.

The lack of sleep makes sense considering I am still on two powerful stimulants, Bupropion and Venlafaxine. I discontinued all of the sedatives I was taking right away. I still take .50 of lorazepam when ever my family is making me crazy.

It is very important to note that when I was examined as a teen and again in my mid twenties neither the hospital or the psychiatrist I saw for nine years diagnosed me with anything. I was told I was highly sensitive to emotions and external inputs. The psychiatrist helped me learn to deal with it.

It wasn’t until age forty three that I received a diagnosis of MDD and age fifty that they changed it to Bipolar Disorder. Nothing worked to relieve my symptoms, they just worse. Until I started digging.

Before I could convince my docs I had to change my diet radically. From a typical American diet to one more like one could create for themselves. No sugar, no highly processed foods, no take out and zero fast food.

I also began exercising, now up to three hours a day of weight training and cycling. Might seem extreme. However, when you consider most Americans are awake sixteen hours a day devoting three of those hours to moving so as to not ingest poison everyday, seems like a good trade.

I expect to be off of all of the fourteen drugs by end of the year. Maybe not, but I will certainly be on less. The exercise and better diet are a win either way.

The biggest benefit is I have my full range of emotions back. Yeah, it’s a lot of work. But I have a life after fifteen years of hell. I have a chance to make amends to those I’ve hurt and if I still need meds I’m okay with that. The best part I can now remember the gentle loving man I have always been. I’m not a monster, there was something terribly wrong. Maybe just maybe this time less is more,

Thanks for listening.

May you have sunshine and cool breezes all your days.

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