Oh, yes, I know that can be hard. I have to tell you CONGRATULATIONS on quitting drinking, though . . . wow, that is beautiful news!
I was struck by how much you have accomplished-- being a single parent, working and raising children. Looking back, I am amazed at how my own mom managed that-- I know I couldn't. And I feel bad now about how difficult I made life for her when I was your children's ages! Right now, they cannot see yet the sacrifices you made, but perhaps someday they will as they grow and mature.
It can be so hard to trust others, especially when past experiences have taught us otherwise. But you'd be surprised by how many people can be giving and kind if you show them you want to listen and extend enough trust to share, too, even a little. None of us is perfect, but we each bring so many experiences to the table, it can be very helpful to share and learn from each other.
By the way, I am feeling very down now, also, because of a terrible family rift (which is my fault). I'm trying to trust that things can get better. I hope you can, too.