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Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
Just Want to Talk | Last Active: Sep 12, 2023 | Replies (6)Comment receiving replies
@frances007 Fear and anxiety are so very difficult. I know this only too well as I’m in the “waiting room” waiting for results on a biopsy from last week. Like you, I tell myself that this is out of my control. I do tell my brother and my partner how I’m feeling just so that they know why I’m a bit “off” right now. Your wrote that your sister is a cancer survivor and has a husband with advanced dementia and you feel you don’t want to more stress for her. I understand that, too, because I have been in that situation. Then I put myself in their place because these are siblings that we know so well. What would I want to know in their place? Can you ask yourself that question and perhaps that will inform you on whether or not to talk with your sister?
We are always here, any time of the day or night, to read, listen, and support you.
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in reply to @naturegirl5 Thank you very much for your kind and supportive words. As luck would have it, my sister was unable to come over today because she had to stay home and take care of her husband. I will not see her for a few weeks. I have baked enough bread and cookies to open up a small bakery. LOL.
I remember when my oldest sister, the one who I am very close to and who I expected today, had breast cancer. She did not tell me that she had discovered a lump on her breast until after she got her diagnosis. The same with my "non sister", although I only found out from sister number one that sister number two had breast cancer. We were raised by a mother who was probably related to Marcus Aurelius. Think: stoic, as I am sure you understand. After laying around most of this afternoon, I have decided not to say anything specific to my sister, other than the fact that I will be having more tests and that I will keep her updated. It is hard enough to talk to her on the phone anyway because her hearing is worse than mine, and she prefers text messaging.
I have a strong support system, MCC included, and I can rely upon those in my "circle" to provide me with the "comfort" I might need going forward. I may have mentioned that my former rheumatologist, now a friend, has full access to my medical records, and she is a very good diagnostician. She has been going through all of my labs and texted me last week that she has come up with something, and we plan to talk this week. I may have mentioned that she did part of her residency at the Mayo Clinic way back when, and I feel very fortunate to have made her acquaintance.
I keep thinking about that quote from Ms. Roosevelt. Nothing to fear but fear itself. I think I have been in some kind of denial about my overall health situation because of my "history." Learning early on not to complain or reach out when I was sick and things of that nature. Not being allowed to be "sick" or complain. However, as I have learned so much about myself as a result of whatever is wrong with me, I now believe it is okay to reach out for help when I need it. I am talking to my psychologist tomorrow, and the fact that she also has a MD, is very helpful.
Admittedly, I was afraid to post anything about this current matter, but an really glad that I did because I need all the support I can get right now, and I thank you again for your wisdom and kindness toward me.