← Return to Relationships: How do you form and maintain them when ill?

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@mir123

Hi--glad to answer. My cancer situation is confusing. I have a rare neuroendocrine tumor in my breast. There is no treatment apart from usual breast cancer protocols. I've had a lumpectomy, radiation, and am on an AI. There are no stats for if any of this works for a NET. I turned down chemo as I have progressing kidney disease, diabetes, and am pulmonary impaired. My oncologist told me in October 2022 that my life expectancy was 1-2 years. I think partially she was pushing the chemo, but the regimen didn't have a great success rate with the ordinary breast cancer aspects and no info at all for NETS. Also, my nephrologist wasn't going to sign off on it! Due to this--and long held philosophical beliefs--I'm not "fighting" the cancer aggressively. Right now, my quality of life is quite good but my prognosis poor. The cancer is either stage 2 or 3--I've been told both. I've had four different pathology reports with 3 different labels. My oncologist is currently going with what Mayo said. I could go for fancier care, but have consulted with two different NET specialists at different medical centers. One refused to see me at all because of the location of the NET. Basically I'm referred to breast surgeons and oncologists who have never even seen this kind of tumor. I have totally made peace with the situation--but actually I was at peace with my own mortality and failing health well before I got cancer. I've always been questing for meaning and understanding, and have been helped in so many ways--from human relationships to art to religion to just looking within. Strangely, or perhaps not, this period in my life has been rewarding and even fun. Thanks for enquiring and valuing an honest response. Sometimes I find it difficult to be direct--but it is rewarding when I can be. Wishing all the best for you.

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Replies to "Hi--glad to answer. My cancer situation is confusing. I have a rare neuroendocrine tumor in my..."

I want to send you a million hugs.
I am sorry for your suffering.
It is good that you know what you want to do. Do you have everything you need?
Have you succeeded in finding meaning and understanding?
Life has taught me that being sick is not everything there is to life, some of my happiest times have also been my sickest times.
Respond however you can respond, be it directly or indirectly. I still choose honesty over being direct or indirect.