@buzz23 Tabitha, I have learned, the hard way like so many of us here, that I need to honor myself, and not "just go along with it" because that is what someone else wants. Nothing worse than how we can beat ourselves up, in my book. Like you, I am very much an introvert, and sometimes [okay, often!] miss the social cues, and that is from being an introvert and also on the autism spectrum with Aspergers Syndrome.
Having lupus, plus other health concerns to deal with on a daily basis, has not been easy for others to understand that some days are better than others, and what my energy level will be is a toss up. Once a week I take 12 mg of dexamethasone as part of my cancer treatment. I know that day, towards the afternoon, and into the next day, my energy level will be "up" so I plan for activities that might not get accomplished otherwise. A group of "friends" eventually excluded me, because I had to back out of plans. Now I have others in place who accept me for what I can do, when I can do it, and we are finding out that I am able to actually do more because they support me! Isn't that cool.
Ginger
I wonder why we do that, put honouring the other person over honouring ourselves? An uncomfortable question that i have asked myself about that is, "do we believe ourselves to be inferior or lacking in some significant way that we give so much to try and earn the other person's favour, as though they are going out of their way to perform a kindness to us by being with us?
I am also on the autism spectrum. I keep wondering why my parents didn't have that looked into when i was a child because the signs have always been there. Sometimes I think I have figured out a social situation, then I find out that I was completely wrong. The people who know me well have a 'debriefing session' with me before I walk into situations that will be hard for me to understand, and they run me through what is appropriate and what isn't.
It sounds like you have figured out a way to work around being sick. Great job!
Do the cytotoxics for your cancer help with lupus control?
It is beyond cool. You have found your people.