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Where do you want to grow old?
Aging Well | Last Active: Oct 15 9:41pm | Replies (267)Comment receiving replies
This is such a challenging question and I am continuing to wrestle with it. I have no answers, but a lot of questions. My husband passed away 2 1/2 years ago after 40 years of marriage and I do not have any relatives or children. I have two stepchildren but they are very involved in their own lives. I’m living in an over 55 community but everyone here is much older than me (I’m 72) and I do not feel connected although everyone is very nice. It’s a real dilemma. I had a lot of problems with knee replacement surgery so it’s been hard to get out and meet new people. It can be extremely lonely and I have no idea what my next step should be. I am most interested in following this discussion.
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These are the challenges that face single people. Health challenges contribute to not being able to reinvent your life as easily.
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Hi fran102,
Before my rhizotomies for my back, during the time frame of "should we proceed", I lived in such a facility. I too was 10 years younger, and some were almost 40 years older. But the wonderful thing was that we initially connected through our shared medical stories. I learned a lot about perseverance, and built friendship based on our shared struggles and victories. With my multiple medical issues, I could connect and learn from their struggles, too. (much like Connect)
We had a "newspaper", and I volunteered to do the bios for some. Learning of their experiences (some heart-breaking) was enriching, and fast tracks finding that bond. There were many different activities, most of which I could not do.
I found the easiest way to make friends was doing puzzles, or a real easy method was to sit in the lounge! There were others who also felt alone and sought out others to chat with.
The biggest problem was the singing group... they really loved the songs from WW I and WW II .. aaaah!
It was an excellent place to recover from my procedures. After I was fully recovered, it suddenly seemed I was in the wrong place and moved out.
I did meet another woman there, who was her hubby's main caregiver. We became friends then and moved out into the same apartment building. We remain friends now, even with my move back east.
I would encourage you Fran, to stay out of your room and go to the various activities... not to necessarily participate, but just to be there, and encourage others from the sidelines. Everyone loves cheerleaders!
It does seem to get harder as we age, to meet new friends.
You do appreciate the "very nice" folk. No doubt they felt the same way at the beginning.
I am so glad you have found a good place to be.
I have some sayings on my fridge, "Friends are the family we choose for ourselves", and "Bloom where you're planted".
All the best fran!