Oh gosh, I’m so sorry this feels one sided for you. I think when our life partner or loved one gets critically ill, we kick into high gear and become so protective and possible overprotective. I know my husband did when I got cancer. As I recovered and MY life got back to normal he was still in the ‘over protection’ mode and monitored everything for me. I love him dearly but I was starting to feel smothered.

At some point, after recovery, the caregiver has to let go of that overwhelming need to protect and give the leash back to the patient. I had to have that little discussion with my husband to allow me to take responsibility for my own preservation. I was tired of being treated like an incapable child. From what you’ve said, it sounds as though your husband is also at that point and you don’t have to be in that constant and ever vigilant caregiver mode anymore.

You will always be concerned because you love him and came close to losing him. But from his perspective, he no longer fears the worst! He lived it and survived! So now he’s free of that fear and going to live his life to the fullest.
I’ve gone through that same change in mindset. I no longer fear much of anything. Though the difference is that I do respect the negative impact covid or any other illness could have on my body, so that is one place I won’t let my guard down.

Going forward, you won’t be able to change your husband’s attitude. He is in a different frame of mind. But you can still be in control over your own personal care and wear continue to wear your mask and take precautions.
I’m not sure what you can do to take away your fear of his cancer returning. What is your greatest fear? That you will lose him? Unfortunately we all face that reality of loss some day. One of us will be going first or our partners. We can’t control the future but we can live in the present.