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Relationships: How do you form and maintain them when ill?
Just Want to Talk | Last Active: Sep 14, 2023 | Replies (76)Comment receiving replies
Have you discussed what will happen when you need more caretaking with your spouse?
I love how the weight of everything isn't on you. You are right, a grownup should be able to identify and express their needs, and do something to have them met. The same way that you should say if you need help with something.
I don't know if I have other ideas.
I am young, so that is also an issue, to need caretaking so early in life is heavy. I am not married or in a relationship, and I live on my own. So my caretaking is by someone I am paying and a couple of friends. I currently have a lady who comes over twice a week, and a friend who sometimes cooks for me and helps with errands. But that is falling short. I am now looking into the idea of having someone like a health assistant or nurse, because some days I need help bathing and getting dressed etc. My mind is not liking any of it. Hence my asking how you are approaching the issue of needing caretaking.
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You are kind to ask--and I feel for you in your circumstances. Also, you do seem to be handling it well. I have a "committee" that helps me make all my cancer treatment & care decisions--husband, grown daughter, best friend. They are close to each other but have different perspectives. I'm guessing that when I get really sick I'll go pretty quickly, as I don't intend to treat beyond hospice. I've also got a less formal direct care group--neighbor, rabbi, friend who is a hospice nurse. I figure my household can manage short term with that and maybe hired help, and I have also set up a delivery laundry service. But if my decline drags on I'm in favor of assisted living near-by. My husband is totally against that. However, I've said it is a fine option with me. We had a close friend we cared for in hospice within assisted living--she had no family so a group of friends (many from former workplace) spent 6 months taking shifts most of the day. But she had meals, meds, linens provided by institution. My friends pension plus social covered the cost and I'm in a similar situation. As you can probably tell, I'm a worst case scenario person. Hope this in't too negative a response...but have given it some thought. Hope things are going well for you today!