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Has anyone noticed the world has changed since Covid?
Just Want to Talk | Last Active: Oct 1, 2023 | Replies (50)Comment receiving replies
Thank you for your response . I wish my family and friend’s were like you . My husband as cancer , even though the doctors have said he is not immune compromised. He has a lot of issues from two major brain surgeries this year for removal of a chondrosacroma tumor at the base of his skull. Also a piece was left inside of him , cancerous , because it was to close to his curated artery and he is monitored. He has no fear of COVID or any other illness . I have extreme anxiety and fear the worst . I will eat outside . We have many family gatherings coming up
because of the Jewish holiday’s approaching. He wants to attend and have a life . I have made him live in a bubble for so long but I can’t anymore . He won’t mask 😷 at work . I mask everywhere. He does not fear any illnesses because he has cancer and wants to live and gets mad at me . All of my family and his agree with him . I take meds and do talk therapy but nothing can take away my fears of his cancer and illness’s.
Replies to "Thank you for your response . I wish my family and friend’s were like you ...."
very very sorry to hear this. I am also from a Jewish background. My wife used to work for UJA in NYC. I am definitely not ok with some of the Jewish response to COVID.
From my point of view, political people have manipulated religious life and theology itself.
They have injected political views into the religious community.
So, I feel no obligation to obey their ideas. To my mind, their ideas directly conflict with the teachings of Moses and the Torah. And that is always consistent with common sense, caution, safety and caring.
Every single person with a major illness has some level of being immune compromised. It is just basic common sense.
I got COVID in Jan 2022. It was a nightmare. I came close to having to go to the hospital. If I went, I am confident that I would never have survived.
I am immune compromised from a variety of medical problems. I think all immune compromised people have to be cautious.
So, you are completely correct about being concerned about your husband's condition.
As far as how to resolve it? I can't see any easy solutions there.
Anyone who does not have fears in your situation, is not dealing with reality. Some level of fear is always going to exist. We are not robots.
All we can do is do our best and hope for the best.
Do take care now.
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Oh gosh, I’m so sorry this feels one sided for you. I think when our life partner or loved one gets critically ill, we kick into high gear and become so protective and possible overprotective. I know my husband did when I got cancer. As I recovered and MY life got back to normal he was still in the ‘over protection’ mode and monitored everything for me. I love him dearly but I was starting to feel smothered.
At some point, after recovery, the caregiver has to let go of that overwhelming need to protect and give the leash back to the patient. I had to have that little discussion with my husband to allow me to take responsibility for my own preservation. I was tired of being treated like an incapable child. From what you’ve said, it sounds as though your husband is also at that point and you don’t have to be in that constant and ever vigilant caregiver mode anymore.
You will always be concerned because you love him and came close to losing him. But from his perspective, he no longer fears the worst! He lived it and survived! So now he’s free of that fear and going to live his life to the fullest.
I’ve gone through that same change in mindset. I no longer fear much of anything. Though the difference is that I do respect the negative impact covid or any other illness could have on my body, so that is one place I won’t let my guard down.
Going forward, you won’t be able to change your husband’s attitude. He is in a different frame of mind. But you can still be in control over your own personal care and wear continue to wear your mask and take precautions.
I’m not sure what you can do to take away your fear of his cancer returning. What is your greatest fear? That you will lose him? Unfortunately we all face that reality of loss some day. One of us will be going first or our partners. We can’t control the future but we can live in the present.