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Relationships: How do you form and maintain them when ill?
Just Want to Talk | Last Active: Sep 14, 2023 | Replies (76)Comment receiving replies
Thank you so much.
I have read and reread your response so many times because it is full of gems. I have also copied it so I can summarise it and have a snap of that on my desktop.
Communicate (really communicate), enjoy each other in the present, involve each other in decisions, show appreciation and respect to caretakers and those receiving the care.
I think part of my concern is that the person gets so absorbed in the role of being a caretaker and that that can eclipse or drown out the person being a partner.
How are you approaching the issue of needing caretaking? I tell myself I am fiercely independent, but if I am being honest, I need some degree of caretaking, and that does not sit well with me.
Replies to "Thank you so much. I have read and reread your response so many times because it..."
@buss23 Ah, I can so relate! All of my life I have been considered fiercely independent, by myself and by others. Now at the young age of 70, over the last many years, that independence has eroded slowly away to using mobility devices, and asking for assistance in some things. It has been a major blow to my self-esteem. There are those in my life who valued me for my independence, and are now confused/unwilling in the face of being a partner on any level if it entails a less-than-perfect co-partner. For my part, there is a realization that I need to be the best I can at any time, and ask for those people to come along with me. Those who can, will. Those who cannot/will not, will be left on the wayside.
Ginger
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Thanks so much for the response. I really share your concern, and don't have an easy answer. I fear that when I need more caretaking I'll lose my (granted elderly) relationship pizzazz. Currently the best I can come up with is that I need to trust that my spouse is a grown-up who will ask for what he needs, and get his own support. It is difficult for me--tell me if you have other ideas.