I don't have my husband, @rca. He died April 10th of this year. And it is hard, and it is awful, and it is a struggle. It tore me apart. I couldn't move for weeks. I was stunned and beyond reason. He died of vascular dementia. We would have been married for 45 years this August 29th. He died from a horrible disease, vascular dementia.

And yes, things won't ever be the same for me, you, or anyone who goes through this. It can't be undone, but we can make it easier by looking at different ways to make a lousy situation better.

I am a patient at Mass General. While caring for my husband, I had to spend a week in MA having radiation. I often had to talk to people whose first language wasn't English. But they could communicate if given a chance. I bet that they felt out of place and at a loss for control as I did, lying under a giant machine shooting photon rays at my two lesions that were close to my heart.

A reaction to my husband's death was also impatience, but when I could see how hurt I made other people by being impatient, I stopped.

I have also felt very put out, but that will pass. I think that it's more a lack of control than it is an inconvenience. At least, it is for me.

Merry

@rca- Despite having a hard time with directions did yu have a nice time at the beach? I live very near the beach and a river that empties into it. Although the river is brackish it empties into the ocean. Storms have greatly changed the landscape near the ocean from when I was a young girl. There used to be dunes that were fun to climb and hide in. And for a teen, well it was a perfect place to make out in! lol

It's kind of sad to lose all of that but the changes are interesting!

I love the feel of the ocean and the tension, even on a calm day. I love the mist and the feel of the cold on a hot day.

What do you love the most?

Merry