@ashambean2 First, welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I get the confusion you are probably going through.

Puberty is a rough time for all of us, and I recall my own with sadness. So many things going on, with noone to turn to for guidance and help. A dysfunctional environment on all fronts did not help.

Thinking back, were there major changes in your son's environment around the time of his sophomore year? Moving to a new town? New school? Bullying? Change in family structure/neighborhood/neighbors? Illness in someone close to him? Death of grandparents/relative/ friend? Any of these factors could play a part in why he is where he is right now.

How is he dealing with the depression at this time? Overeating? Not eating? Substance abuse? Isolating? Do you feel he understands he may be going through a depressive episode? Have you been able to contact anyone in his school district for help, or his primary care doctor?

https://www.nami.org/Home Perhaps a look at the National Alliance on Mental Illness website can help you. They do have a section for teens and young adults. Please let us know how things go!
Ginger

Keep encouraging him to open up to work it out. Let him know regardless of how he feels, he is and always be loved and purposeful. Continue to be patient.
Make sure you get support if he won’t.
I hope someday that no child ever has to live through excessive anxiety and depression for long periods.

Being a parent is sooooo hard!

Here are a few ideas (I don't know if they really will help but I hope so!!)

1. Call his pediatrician/doctor and explain what has been happening. Ask them for help/ideas.
2. Take him to an appointment with the pediatrician-- AFTER you have already told the doctor what has been going on. Be sure that your son gets a full physical exam, maybe with blood work, so you can rule out or rule in physical causes. Sadly, some chronic diseases do start when kids are in high school.

3. Contact his current counselor and his counselor last year at school.
The school counselor might be able to help a LOT. He may know what happened last school year. He may be able to recommend a good psychologist or have suggestions on how to get your son to agree to see one.
Depending on the laws of the state in which you live, the school counselor may or may not be able to tell you certain things, unfortunately.
If you want his current teachers to know that you think his new behavior is possibly due to depression, you may have to request that the counselor confidentially inform his teachers. In some states, the counselors are bound by law to NOT tell teachers unless the parents ask explicitly for them to do so.

4. As a former teacher, I suggest the following: Wait until about the 3rd week of the new school year. Then contact your son's favorite teacher/coach/club moderator from last year, before the "bad" stuff started. Ask to have a brief meeting or phone call conference. That teacher/coach might have some helpful insights about what started it, if there was an incident or an on-going problem that started it.

I taught sophomores in high school from 1999 to 2020. It is not uncommon for there to be major changes in their attitudes and behaviors, but it is important to follow through in the way you are doing, specifically, asking for help and guidance. So GOOD for YOU ! You are being a good parent!

Get advice from good sources-- like doctors and counselors-- and then follow it.

Best wishes!!! Keep us posted!!

Hello,
He may have social anxiety, which might have brought on his depression. My granddaughter and my son both have social anxiety and have been going to online school ever since COVID and doing very well at it. It's not home schooling.. it's actually online school with actual teachers. Hope this helps.