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My husband passed away

Loss & Grief | Last Active: Oct 5, 2023 | Replies (52)

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@bigmaya

Hello Merry,
It's 03.48 in the morning where l live. Hope to get back to sleep somehow... Harpo doesn't care, he snores away or is it Olive 😺 ??? and Clara watches me with her huge scrutinizing eyes. Thursday evening will mark two weeks since my husband's passing and when l get to be with people (just a little) l think for a moment that l'll survive but then l'm on my own again and this huge tsunami of sadness breaks over me. I too wonder what will happen to me... will l be able to carry on, be able to stay in this house, we don't own the place... l try to read, have tons of books, used to be an avid reader, but when my husband got sick l just lost all interest. There are formalities to be taken care of, always hated it!!! But it's on ME now... and it just adds to my anxiety and fear. Hope you're having a good night's rest🙏

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Replies to "Hello Merry, It's 03.48 in the morning where l live. Hope to get back to sleep..."

First of all, I am sending you a huge hug. I lost my husband of 38 yrs suddenly 2 years ago and it is AWFUL. I volunteered with a local hospice group for years so i knew who to call for help. My particular hospice is a non-profit hospice but I don't think that even matters. Even if you didn't use hospice for your husband, there are many different hospice organizations that can help you with grief support. Please reach out to all the local hospice groups and ask if they have bereavement support services. They can help direct you to counseling if they cannot help. The formalities that you speak of were the worst for me also. I gave up the bookkeeping to my hubby when everything became automated 20+ years ago and i was clueless. I still hate it and get goofed up but with the help of friends I understand it better. Please think about friends and family that have offered to help and then who in that group is good with household financing! Now is the time to accept help from friends and family and to be creative in what you ask for. I couldn't eat the food that people kept sending but when i asked instead for specific help on projects or taxes or finances I had many offers. My one friend didn't know what to do for me but she is in finance so it made her feel great that she could offer her expertise with this. I hate that you are going through this and i know it so well. I learned that i have to swallow my pride and seek help in many areas. Hospice organizations (namely the bereavement side) and grief support is a great place to start! Also, if you are at all religious, many different churches offer different grief support "programs". Church members train to lead these groups. I think one such group is called "Grief share" so at least look that up right now!!! I am so sorry to see you go through this and I'll be thinking of you and sending encouragement.