← Return to Living with inoperable pancreatic cancer

Discussion

Living with inoperable pancreatic cancer

Pancreatic Cancer | Last Active: Sep 12, 2023 | Replies (43)

Comment receiving replies
@margefromwi

Thank you for your kind words. My mom died of gallbadder cancer, nine years ago, so I saw what she went through. She was diagnosed in early March and by the end of June she passed away. I look at this situation, it is what it is. I could go around screaming & cussing, being angry all the time or be down in the dumps, crying all the time. I don't think that would be good for me, probably raise my blood pressure or worse. I'm just doing the best I can & there are days that I'm down & not having a good day. Yes, I did have genetic testing of my tumor. I think it came back with ATM something. I had another genetic test done recently to see if any of my cancer cells had mutated in a cancer that has targeted treatments, I have the KRASG12 mutation but there is only trial therapy. I also think the ATM didn't have anything targeted too. Just had my chemo of gemzar & abraxane, feeling a little tired but otherwise okay. I also have many people telling me they are praying for me. This really humbles me when I'm told this and I wonder if I'm worthy of all these prayers of healing. Sometimes I over think things. Take care.

Jump to this post


Replies to "Thank you for your kind words. My mom died of gallbadder cancer, nine years ago, so..."

I know about the feelings of not being worthy.
That's another topic I've been delving into online, since I have come to recognize what a potent influence those early impressions continue to exert throughout our lives.
I may be repeating myself, but when the idea occurred to me that even *I* am worthy of love, how shocking that idea seemed. And it's not as if I didn't already believe on an intellectual level that all of us embodied spirits are worthy of a simple, direct, uncomplicated love (dare I call it divine?).

You are certainly worthy. Thanks for sharing your story and your feelings, I find both very helpful.