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lidiana (@lidiana)

TW: I survived trauma

Mental Health | Last Active: Sep 10 9:47am | Replies (11)

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I was raped in 2019. I remembered face of rapist in January. I had traumatic amnesia for 4 years. I don't know how to trust men when I go places. I worry I will be abducted and raped again. I order all of my groceries on Doordash and Publix Instacart. I went with visiters to Kroger this morning and was terrified I'd lose sight of them and they would leave me.

How do I reconcile my thoughts to feeling safe?

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Replies to "I was raped in 2019. I remembered face of rapist in January. I had traumatic amnesia..."

I have identified that is not my environment that is dangerous (if I take reasonable steps to stay physically safe) it is my emotional safety that is jeopardized by my thought process. I am utilizing EMDR with a qualified therapist to deal with my anxiety that occurs with my reoccurring memories. It is difficult work. Many of the episodes have been mitigated but I have a really tough trauma that I must continue to work on. It scares me to revisit that trauma. I do not feel safe when doing the work. But the therapist is there to support me.

Very very sorry for your difficulties. I was a victim of violent crime. In 1982, I was kidnapped and held for a time.

In addition to regular therapy, I highly recommend getting specific therapy to assess if you have PTSD. And if you do have PTSD, to get specific treatment for that.

It is different. PTSD re-wires the brain. It needs a specific kind of work to resolve.

If your therapist agrees it is a good idea, you might want to look into stress management, generally. And also stress reduction. You might want to look into meditation, Hatha Yoga relaxation techniques and such. "The PTSD Handbook" is a professional resource tool for those with PTSD. It includes meditation and Hatha Yoga relaxation techniques. (It is recommended only for use in conjunction with counseling from a therapist).

If your therapist agrees it is a good idea, you might want to think about professional self-defense classes from a martial arts teacher. It is not only learning the physical techniques that can keep you safe, martial arts is an entire culture. Being around that culture can give you confidence in many ways.

But, you really do have to clear that with a therapist. The thought of engaging in martial art strategies, may only trigger you further. The therapist has to review any work in that area.

Online you can find many articles (and, I am sure, many books) by law enforcement professionals, about the dos and don'ts of how to keep yourself safe, what situations and environments to avoid and other safety tips.

Here's one article I found:

You can Google:

"A Former Police Chief Shares 10 Must-Know Safety Tips for Women"


for myself, as a violent crime victim, I have learned some martial arts. I do various things to keep the home safe. And I learned various things that folks would otherwise not know.

For example, keeping your car windows up when you approach an intersection, significantly reduces your risk of a car-jacking. If a perpetrator can stick a gun through the window, quickly, it maximizes his chances of success. Just a side note…about some life hacks that can keep us safe that we otherwise would not think about.

I learned many of these things in counseling and in research to help me endure the consequences of having been kidnapped.

Being kidnapped was a full blown nightmare. I had strong PTSD reactions for at least 8 years. And some to this day. But what I have learned in therapy and through research has definitely made a huge difference.

Very very sorry about the difficulties.

There is hope.

Things do get better.

Take care now.