Don’t ever expect anyone to understand, even if it’s family, unless they have lived through this. I’ve had depression longer than I can recall at least second grade, and seventh grade, I was suicidal. Two years ago, I tried to take my life, not long after that, still suicidal by desperately awake one night, looked up any possible new research or progress/experimental even treatment for medication. resistant depression. Six weeks of ET see shock therapy did nothing and I have tasted every SSRIRSSNISRRNI, antipsychotic combination, your name blah been on it. Nothing has worked until I researched something that day. It was new then and now I believe there is a brand name but it’s approved by the FDA. Simple KETAMINE infusion with pen nasal spray 100mg/ml. I knew ketamine was used in veterinarian practice and rarely end last hope treatments for Pain, but our primary pain relief was ketamine on the battlefield in Afghanistan. Interosseous ketamine before any opiates were always used because it keeps up the blood pressure and associates your mind from the body and cuts the paint off. Strangely it works the same way for both types of pain. Depression can be worse than any other pain, the day I went in for the first infusion, I remember I was unable to stop crying and told the nurse I’m so tired I cannot do this every day fighting to want to live. She cried with me, inserting the IV needle, and literally within five drops And less than one minute. I went from suicidal, nearly suicidal two completely what I would imagine as any other stable person or experience in life. Not euphoria, but it all lifted. There was color in the world. I had hope. I wanted to jump out of the bed and go do something except I didn’t know whose legs those were in front of me. it is a anesthesia drug usually before has been used for pain during surgeries or for severe burns, not responding to opiates or one opiates cannot be used. However, from what I’m understanding, it has a action of inflating, a re-inflating the dendrites off of each axon, causing your circuits in the brain to rewire innocence. that’s the research now understood. I don’t care as long as it works and it does. After the initial six weeks are now two weeks, intense round I simply get one booster every six months and keep nasal spray on hand for the dark nights. I won’t ever be depression free, but is absolutely tolerable. In my quality of life is to the point I don’t wear fake smiles, and I don’t offer obligatory laughs, a belly laugh now I am more human than ever. If you haven’t looked into this, I would highly recommend , the key is finding one who does this and cares for your well-being emotionally and quality of life. Many psychiatrists just throw prescriptions that you might experience at least. It was and is a game changer. Check it out.