Hi Matt,

I'm listening and hear you so loud and clear. As I was reading your message I thought my son had written it. My youngest son and I are both empaths. There is no question that life is more challenging for us but equally more joyful at the same time. We feel everything to a heightened degree and tears are always lurking behind our eyes.

Part of your struggle is your age. You are very young and feelings/hormones/maturity all play havoc with your mind. I strongly recommend you see a Psychiatrist for a full evaluation and appropriate meds, if needed, to stabilize your thoughts along with any wild mood swings . Trust me, it gets better with age and the tools you'll acquire in your toolbox to cope, with talk therapy.

Another decision that both myself and eventually, my son, came to is a good career choice where our talents could be appreciated and we would be fulfilled. We both chose to work in the healthcare field. I operated nursing homes and he became an RN three years ago. He is now 42 years old but doing exactly what he was cut out for. It's never too late to change course. We are very clear what is important in life and when You are challenged, ask yourself, "will this matter in five years"? Keep and develop a healthy perspective, it will help you to cope with the challenges, as they are an important part life too that teach us.

My son went through everything you've described, smoked MJ everyday, worked many jobs, got addicted to porn and tried to end his life a few times. He couldn't have a healthy nor lasting relationship with a young woman nor anyone else because of the depression, pain and sense of unworthiness. It was a long hard road until he grew up a bit and figured it all out. At 35 he went back to college (as he dropped out at your age). He put his heart into it and stopped every single bad habit completely. He graduated top of his class. It was not easy for him with emotional ups and downs. He is now a nurse manager and can pour out that empathy and care that he has, in spades. When he's tired and not taking care of himself properly along with long days at work, he can feel the old mindset creeping in and now has the skill set to circumvent it. Life will never be a cakewalk for him but as he tells me, "I now live a life that matters". Goals, however minor, are a good first step with the right professionals to help you get there.

I'm not suggesting you would love healthcare but you need to find your path where a gift of empathy is an asset or start volunteering somewhere like an animal shelter where just one walk and a little love makes all the difference to one animal at a time.

Matt you have such a gift to give to the world. People like "us" are what makes it turn and be a better place. Please know that you are so special and can make such a positive difference. At this point in his life, my son tells me, "Mom, in spite of the suffering it brings me, I wouldn't change a thing about me...because I feel ALIVE and bring that to the table, I don't just dial it in. You were right...my empathy gene is needed in the world and I'm grateful for it.".

There is a community here that care. Stay with us and treat yourself with love and understanding. Be your own best friend and treat yourself accordingly. Concentrate on yourself and getting healthy in all ways. The rest will fall into place, in all relationships.

Everything and anything is possible, Honey.