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Wow, this has inspired me.
I too question my beliefs, which at one time were extremely strong beliefs. I hate to say just how difficult it is to find the comfort I once did have in believing there is a God, a spiritual well being that was stronger than anything else, for me anyway. That has been shattered so many times. I have really tried to find my way back with only pain and fear leading my way. So very difficult to fight through all the ugly to get back what I pray is the true belief I once had for most of my life.
I have 4 children (grown) and they are leading their life's with the struggles they each face too. But, I have not lost the life of any child of mine. If I were to lose a child, I truly have no idea how I would navigate through that ordeal since I have yet found my way for myself and my health issues.
To me, I always pray "just to know" as I once just knew. If this makes any sense. Just to give birth and hold my newborn child was proof to me X 4. To hold my 2 grandbabies at their births was proof to me X 2. I never questioned.
I'm so sorry to see anyone confused but I do know, when you truly know within yourself, you do see and feel the beauty and the security genuinely within your soul without any questions. I desire to have this back but there is something that I must see or feel to lean one way or the other. I just can't decide, it has to be there. I have a difficult time finding the words to explain myself. I hope you and any others that are seeking guidance, finds what may be there. You finding the light and choosing to carry that light forward after all the darkness is beautiful to me. 🦋
Thank You for sharing this. You are inspirational and I seek this over everything in my search for the truth. My truth anyway.
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There are events that are life changing and make us question the very existence of what we always had taken for granted leaving us profoundly humanized. It is a quite a process to journey through those tough times. It shouldn't be hurried. You can find your way when you let your inner virtuous strength be your steady guide. You know what is good, what is true, what is right. Listen to the honesty within you for the way. The way that you find will be truly yours, because you travelled it. Life is a journey.
A great writer, after the irreplaceable loss of his brother, wrote "The things which I have seen I can see no more!". He was alluding to loss of happiness, loss of innocence, loss of faith in the natural order of things. It is not uncommon for that to happen. The journey from early to later years includes unwanted traumas, which we should take all the proper time to deal with.
If your body hurts, think about all the good that it has done. If your spirit weakens. think about all the things that you are grateful for. If a dear one is gone, close your eyes and remember them smiling during happy times.
Wherever and however you now journey, remember "This above all: to thine own self be true".