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It’s because I love you…
"We can’t plan for everything. But we can talk about what is most important — in our life, and in our health care — with those who matter most." The Conversation Project
The Conversation Project (https://theconversationproject.org/) helps people talk about their wishes for care through the end of life (advanced directives), so those wishes can be understood and respected. The offer guides, conversations starter tips and more to help you start a conversation (and keep talking) so you can have a say in your health care — today and tomorrow.
This week the Conversation Project shared a poem by Susan Ruddy-Maysonet (@susanruddymaysonet), a nurse from Mayo Clinic, that I would like to re-post here with permission. "It's because I love you" is a wonderful reminder of why these conversations are important and that love and caring are the reason why we should talk.
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IT'S BECAUSE I LOVE YOU...
By Susan E. Ruddy-Maysonet RN MSN,
It’s because I love you that I want u to know just how much in the event I am no longer able to speak the words ” I love you”.
It’s because I love you and you have been everything to me, and know me, at times better than I know myself.
It’s because I love you that I can’t think of anyone else to give this most precious, but challenging gift to.
It’s because I love you that I am asking you to hold me tight when possible, as your hugs will remind me how much I am loved.
It’s because I love you that you will sense my heart and arms wrapped around you in return.
It’s because I love you that you will feel God’s strength and love, as I would have asked HIM to help you make difficult choices on my behalf and reassure you that no one can do this task better.
It’s because I love you and am most confident that you will be able to help all those near and dear to me understand the choices I have made, including you to be my voice, in the event I didn’t have the chance to tell them myself.
It’s because I love you that we need to take time out of our busy lives today to talk about this tomorrow we hope will never come.
It’s because I love you that I want you to be prepared in case it does.
Let’s talk.
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Love is the self for others. Mother Theresa of Calcutta expressed this in the most beautiful way. It would be well to teach our children that the only infinite quality of life is, indeed, Love!
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3 ReactionsThis is so beautifully written and so appropriate for those of us in the Winter of our lives. My husband and I have had this discussion and made our desires and wishes known and clear if tomorrow doesn't come...whenever that tomorrow may be.
Be kind, be ever mindful of the needs of others whether they be friends, neighbors, family or someone you meet that you think may be be accident...perhaps it was meant to be. Help everyone you can and try to make their wishes come true. An acquaintenance of mine just asked us to consider making a donation to the children's hospital (St. Jude's) to help celebrate his birthday tomorrow and we did just that. That is all he wanted. He is fine. kind man. That is one example.
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1 ReactionUnhappily my husband and I never had this conversation. We had no thoughts that any one of us would die until he did. It was unexpected and I still don't know how I am surviving it. The last and only thing I could do for him was to bring him home so that he died in his home and in his bed with me. The hospice nurse said he could hear me so I was with him to the end telling him how much I loved him. I hope the hospice nurse was right.
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3 ReactionsHi Marilyn, I’m so sorry for your loss and the pain you’re experiencing.
Have you ever heard of the organization Adult Children of Alcoholic and Dysfunctional Families? The program has been a God send and a safe haven for me and many others. There’s so much love, experience, strength and hope for all. A quick google search of “Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families World Service Organization” will direct you to the website where you’ll find more information and link to Zoom support group meetings as well as in person meetings.
Another support group I found helpful is “Grief Share”. If you google search it there is more info and meeting information.
Hope you find some peace, strength, relief, love and more importantly the courage to continue on this journey 🙏🏽💗
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1 Reaction“When you find the courage to look up HE will give you the strength to carry on.”
@justbehunny, I noticed that you wished to post URLs to helpful resources with your post. You will be able to add URLs to your posts in a few days. There is a brief period where new members can't post links. We do this to deter spammers and keep the community safe.
Please allow me to post them for you:
https://adultchildren.org/meeting-search/?onlinebt=Click+Here
https://www.griefshare.org/
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1 ReactionGinger this is Jane. I'm trying to wriggle , crawl, breathe my way back to Connect. These are good words. Thank you. Love and light.
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1 Reaction@mamacita Ah, Jane, such a blessing to see your post today!
Feel free to message me!
Ginger
Oh Ginger I have missed you and everyone so, so much. My daughter passed away in November. It was totally unexpected. I have had my husband in hospital twice for extended periods of time this year. Hope to talk with you soon.
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2 ReactionsOh, Jane, how heart-wrenching. I know your daughter was really struggling, and you along beside her. I am hoping things have evened out a little bit.
Ginger