Sorry to hear that your anger has, for the moment, taken over an otherwise compassionate, kind nature. I too share this all too human weakness. All I can offer in comfort is a beautiful memory I woke up with last Saturday, when I too was struggling with forgiveness. 35 years I took a "serenity walk" with a friend in Honolulu, as a newcomer to Al-Anon. When I addressed the problem of judgmentalism in my personality, my friend offered a suggestion: If you don't judge people in the first place, Trudy, you won't need to forgive them." For many years I confused common sense & healthy boundaries with judgment. There is an important difference. Only God knows the motives & big picture of people's behavior. I don't. When I judge a brother or sister human being, I'm playing God, a form of ego that always gets me into trouble. My longtime Al-Anon sponsor pulls my covers whenever I do this. She merely remarks, "Take off your God suit, sweetie." None of us knows the back story of behavior that seems nothing but unforgivable to us. And then again, the Serenity Prayer asks God "to accept the things I cannot change," which is 99% of the world outside of me. "The courage to change the things I can" gives me hope to change the only thing I can change - my attitude & my behavior. Baking & cleaning are good activities to keep your behavior pure & orderly - Good for you! Accepting the family member as a lost soul who will find her way through life, God willing without your help is a tough surrender, but surrender it you must for your own mental, physical, spiritual health. God bless you for your honesty & sharing from your heart. All the best to you! Trudy