@juliedyan Hello and welcome to Connect. Hopefully some other back surgery members who are older will share their experiences too.

I am a spine surgery patient which for me was a cervical surgery with a fusion of C5/C6, and I have been a caregiver to my elderly disabled parents going through surgeries. The recovery from a lumbar spine surgery is more difficult than cervical because that area bears most of the body weight. Recovery might be 6 months or more for lumbar fusions as patients have talked about here, and of course age and health conditions other than spine issues also play a part in how well someone recovers. My 80 year old cousin had a lumbar laminectomy and he recovered from that fairly quickly and really only had pain for about 2 weeks and then stopped taking pain medication, and after a month, he felt good and was up and around and going out. Adding a fusion to that is more invasive and will likely have a longer recovery.

Especially after spine surgery, you have to do everything you can to minimize the risk of falling, so remove area rugs and anything that could be a tripping hazard. Some patients have trouble with the height of the toilet, and you may need a riser on the toilet. Have her use a walker for stability. When you mentioned a step stool for getting into a car, I would ask if this is necessary because that could be a source of instability or tripping and cause a fall. Your mom will not be able to bend or twist at all or lift anything. Having elastic laces in her shoes will make them slip ons because she will not be able to look at them or reach down to tie them and she needs shoes with good walking support. She may not be able to navigate stairs well. Will she be able to stay on a single floor and have bathroom and shower access?

As far as driving goes, the day after my surgery, I was OK as a passenger for a 5 hour drive home from Mayo. I had to get out of the car every 2 hours to walk so as not to risk blood clots. That will be a risk for your mom too. She may be able to have home health come in to monitor her and help her get up and walk. That would be something to ask the doctor. They can teach you how to help support her for fall prevention. Usually they use a gait belt placed around her body that they can hold to break a fall, but after spine surgery, I don't know if that it can be used. She needs clothes that are loose and easy to get in and out of. She may need assistance in the bathroom. Do you have a bench for the shower so she can sit down while bathing? Surgery and recovery is exhausting, and falling in the shower is a risk. Your body is using all it's energy toward healing. I slept a lot for months.

There are hand rails that attach to beds, and my mom actually has a floor to ceiling pole with hand grabs to get in and out of bed. The height of the bed may be important because sometimes older people don't have the leg strength to navigate. My mom had my brother lower her bed. Medicare may cover a rental of a hospital bed that goes up and down, and also folds like a recliner. That is a question for her primary care physician, I imagine. I don't know if incontinence is an issue, but it will take a long time to navigate to the bathroom and it may not be enough time. Talk to your mom about it, but wearing Depends may help if this is a difficulty. I found out how hard it was to navigate with a disability when I broke my ankle, and getting to the bathroom in time was a real challenge, when I was hobbling with a walker or crutches and in a lot of pain.

Pain medicines and anesthesia also cause extreme constipation and can cause nausea. Changes through diet, medications, and added fiber to counteract constipation can help. I didn't take pain medication after my spine surgery because of the nausea and constipation, and I was having breathing issues with my asthma. I was able to tolerate my pain levels after cervical surgery fine without drugs, but after my broken ankle a couple years later, I had to take pain meds and just be a zombie on the couch. I found a half dose was better for me as far as nausea. The broken ankle was much more painful than my spine surgery and over a longer period of time.

You may want to have an honest conversation with your mom now about what her abilities are, but keep in mind, sometimes parents think they can do everything and don't admit what their disabilities are. I had to be a caregiver to my parents because they wouldn't admit they needed help, and they could not live on their own. I hope your mom is able to come through surgery and be able to walk well afterward. The recovery will be in months, not weeks, so also discuss with your sisters about how you will handle this if it is much longer than expected. That can turn your life upside down and it can be hard to find a way out until your mom can be on her own again. Care giving is exhausting for you too. It is good that you have sisters willing to help, and you don't really know how hard it is until you're feeling swamped. An evaluation with a physical therapist or with her primary care physician may help answer some concerns after about her after surgery care, and expected progress in recovery. Some spine surgery patients go into a rehab facility for a few weeks before being discharged home, and at the hospital, the staff will work to make sure your mom can safely navigate. I hope your mom will do well. My parents were both disabled enough to need wheelchairs, and my dad was at end stage heart disease and did not have the strength to get out of bed on his own. At that time, I needed spine surgery myself and I was using a Hoyer lift for my dad. As a caregiver, you also need to make sure that you don't physically injure yourself in being a caregiver to your mom if she needs a lot of physical assistance. The nurses and physical therapists and aids, can all instruct you on best ways to help without injuring yourself. Your mom also may get depressed during recovery.

I hope this gives you a sense of what questions to ask of her providers. She's lucky to have a team of loving daughters ready and willing to help. I did that too for my folks. I'm sure you will feel good about making the effort. Does this raise more questions in your mind?