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Alzheimer’s and hygiene (or lack of)
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Aug 16, 2023 | Replies (13)Comment receiving replies
I have no remedy but a lot of empathy!! I have found it comforting to know I'm not the only one experiencing this with our loved one. My husband's brother has an advanced stage of FTD and primary progressive aphasia. He's only 66 and we had to move him into a memory care community. We are his primary caregivers outside the staff at the community. He has refused to shower ever since being moved there. Then his incontinence became an issue, first with his stools. He had poop all over him, his furniture, and his room. Almost like he was playing with it. He still refused to shower. It takes two people to get him into the shower and he fights and yells the whole time.
I'm going to ask his doctor about the low dose of Ativan. I feel so bad for the staff taking care of him. He used to shower ever morning after his morning walk. He doesn't take long walks anymore (just stays in his room all day), so maybe that's why he doesn't know he needs to shower? My heart goes out to everyone experiencing this awful situation with their loved one.
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in reply to @1k194 Yes, a lot of empathy and a break now and then. I did convince my friend that she needed to change her bath towel at least once per week, as well as her hand towels. Out of frustration I took both home with me, along with her bath mat, and I was astonished at how filthy they were. My friend has a housekeeper who only comes once per month and does a lousy job. Think: surface cleaning. While I have tried not to do a lot of cleaning for my friend, I finally broke down and cleaned her bathroom this week. Awful because her cleaning person does not know how to clean a bathroom. Admittedly, I am a bit OCD when it comes to a clean bathroom, a result of my own health issues. But the fact is, everyone wants a clean bathroom, right? Caregiving at least for me, is an ongoing struggle because my friend has always been stubborn and controlling, and these two characteristics have only worsened with dementia. My sister's 73 year old husband has advanced dementia, and she told me this week that he said to her: "There is nothing wrong with me, it is all in your head." LOL. All of us need a free day off.