Can someone who’s had a mastectomy share the psychological effects ?

I am a year past unilateral mastectomy. I chose not to have reconstruction. I wish I would have had other breast removed as well. I am 65 and at times I feel like I am waiting for “the other shoe to drop” on remaining breast. This is a wonderful site for information and support. Best wishes to you

I had a bilateral mastectomy last November. Then chemo and radiation which finished up mid- July.

I was 71 when they detected invasive lobular cancer- metastatic. Having been large breasted since a teenager, there was absolutely no question in my mind that I was ready to become breastless and enjoy never wearing a bra again! It was never important to me for the sake of appearance to keep them. Yes, it’s a relief. The surgery did not effect the way I see myself and, frankly, at this age no one cares! My breasts did not define me as a person.

Everyone is different, though.

I agree with another commenter that the psychological effects are more about the fear of returning cancer.

My best to you!

I'm sorry that it's taken me a few days to reply. i am 72 as well. I was diagnosed last Fall and had my 1st surgery on 12/1, bilateral mastectomy. At that time I had expanders inserted; thinking I'd have reconstructive surgery. I had problems and after another 4 surgeries, decided not to be reconstructed. I'm still kind of numb from it all and feel very sad, depressed. I have great prothesis but when I've had to tell people about the cancer, they 'look' at me, wondering. My husband's been wonderful. I don't feel like 'me' mentally. I've lost something inside and I'm trying to figure out how to move on. I had HER2, and it was invasive; I have chemo every 3 weeks and take an oral chemo pill daily. Part of me wants to crawl under a rock, another part wants to face the world with a smile and a 'can do' attitude. Most of the time, I feel lost and alone and so unsure what to do about it. When they took my breasts, they took part of me as well. I'm trying to get that part of me back, but I'm stuck, unsure what to do next. I was thinking about professional help, but unsure. I'm able to put on a good front to others, but hurting badly inside. Be well, stay safe. Cathy

I am sorry you are hurting inside and feel lost and alone. I would seek counseling to talk about your feelings with someone who can help you. You have undergone a lot. I will pray for you to get "unstuck."

Cathy,

A BC diagnoses is a traumatic experience. You seem to have been through a lot ( with 4 additional surgeries) of unexpected challenges on top of the expected challenges. Im sorry that the plan you made for reconstruction unfortunately did not work out for you .

Now you are experiencing the physical and emotional impact of chemotherapy. It’s “A LOT” to be dealing with.

You may need some significant support to restock your coping strategy tool box . This is a very common need that is too often overlooked as part of our recovery journey. I hope you consider counseling . Most , if not all, find counseling to be a tremendous help as we navigate this incredibly scary, depleting, challenging and unwanted journey we find ourselves on.

Best to you and to all of us as we rid ourselves of cancer and move towards a healthy future. 🌸

meomurian, Hello and thank you for writing. I am 73 and had a mastectomy one year ago. (IDC and HER2 positive). I did not want reconstruction either. I was terrified beforehand. I could not begin to convey to you the emotional journey. BUT I want you to know that I had a positive experience. The surgery went well and recovery went better than I had anticipated (no infection, very minimal swelling which went away, a very clean and simple incision). I healed very quickly and within five weeks received my prosthesis. I like the way my new bras fit and look. My husband is my total and complete support. He loves me just as much as ever and truly sees me the same as he always did. I would like to reassure you that nothing has changed for me. I do agree with the women who have said they worry about the other breast. I just had my one year mammogram and was extremely relieved (understatement) it was negative. I have a wonderful therapist who has been an incredible support through all of this. I am sending you all positive thoughts and wishes. This is such a wonderful place and opportunity to share and receive.

Thank you SO very much for your encouraging words! I felt very uplifted after reading about your experience. You have no idea what that meant for me. Wish I could hug you in person!

Cathy, I am so sorry you are feeling numb, sad and depressed. Those emotions are completely understandable. I relate to the feelings you describe. You have been through a lot and you are brave to write about your experience. I understand feeling lost and alone. I am struggling to learn how to be in the moment and take life one step (sometimes minute to minute) at a time. Every day there are new challenges that one cannot predict. You are doing it though. You are getting through each moment and each day. I admire and respect what you've been through (more than 4 surgeries) and chemo. I hope you will one day feel good about your courage and perseverance which I and others here see.

Please consult a highly recommended female, Ph.D. level clinical psychologist. You express severe emotional pain and need support and self-insight. The psychologist should be licensed in your state. Board certified even better. I am a retired forensic psychologist who had a mastectomy and 3 positive nodes (ER+) 2 years ago. Contact the American Board of Clinical Psychology for names in your state. Help is waiting for you. Dick

I had a unilateral Mastectomy 3/9/23 and love it but I’m also 62. If I was younger, it might make a difference but not at this season of my life. I don’t wear bathing suits anymore. However, while visiting family in South FL a month ago, we went to the gulf (I can do clear water for swimming) and all I had was stretchy shorts and t-shirt. I took off my bra/prosthetic and did some much needed relaxation. Coming out the water, I pulled my t-shirt to the front, squeezed out excess water and no one paid any attention to my attire or look. It was so relaxing☀️