I do have pictures. There was another lady who said she and her new husband destroyed the pictures of their former spouses. My grief is lasting much longer than usual but for different reasons. We were married for a long time. I am quite old but still have my brain power. I don't have other diseases and may live many more years, but I don't want to. When I say that everyone jumps to the conclusion that I have said I am going to commit suicide. I wonder why that is? Nothing is further from my mind. I don't want to live longer because there is now nothing to look forward to. We travelled a lot and came back from our last cruise in March, 2020. You know what happened right after that. We had another cruise booked and I had to cancel it. Now there will be no more cruises which we both loved and enjoyed. Now there will be no more anything. I have a vase by his picture and keep flowers in it. Sometimes it makes me smile, but more often than not I cry because of all I have lost. So far no peace and comfort. Today was an especially bad day for me. I hope that tomorrow will be better and I can at least get the will to leave the house for an hour.