Hi Cody, this is my first post on this specific forum.

Just wanted to say that I know how miserable financial issues can be, as they've been pushing me also to the point of suicidal ideation lately, and I haven't even lost my income (yet). My business partner ran into a very bad scandal with wrecked a large portion of the small business we'd worked hard to build over 20 years, just like half of it gone in a wink. This happened just shortly after I finally met someone new many years after my divorce, and she moved in with me, and fear of the rest of the business crashing down is omnipresent now. My new girlfriend has medical conditions that limit how much she can work, so I feel responsible not just for my own fate, but for hers as well.

Although I don't have answers yet, I'm trying to find strength. When I am feeling badly now the anxiety is so crippling and so painful, and there's just NO place where I can find relief. I'm seeing a psychiatrist and have been trying some medications, but still looking for the exact right solution there. Propranolol has helped with anxiety when my chest area kind of just feels awful. If you are not seeing someone to discuss medicine options, that might be worth a try?

I'm also looking for a new therapist, as my last one was very nice but mostly just listened, and I want someone who will challenge me more, provide more feedback, and also someone with some DBT training who might be able to help me manage my strong emotions better. DBT was originally created for people with Borderline, however I'm told it can be very useful to lots of people outside that group and has very practical skills to practive to help keep strong emotions in check. I don't know if it will work for me yet, as the guy I chose isn't available to start with me for a few weeks yet, but you might read up a little on DBT to see if it sounds interesting? It's a bit hard to find a therapist trained in this, as most use CBT, which is fine too as it helps with my tendency to zero in on negative thoughts while ignoring the positive things that happen.

It goes without saying that your wife, your daughter and your second child will all need you in their lives. I try to lean in on logic when my emotions are getting the better of me, and I'm sure logically you know they do. You're lucky to have a daughter, they're such a blessing for a father, which isn't to discount the boys of course.

Congratulations by the way on the upcoming newborn. I'm 50 years old and I've reached that point in life where I have quite a bit of reference, and times are just very unusual right now with work and expenses and all that stuff, the pandemic was just such a disruption on all that. I do however know that things come and go in cycles, and there IS light at the end of the tunnel even if it's not always easy to see.

Wishing you and your family the best.