Thank you for sharing your experiences. Much of what you have described is typical of people who have profound hearing loss. I am one of them and I can identify with you. I am very thankful for the technology I use.

To function as best they can, all hearing aids need to be adjusted for our unique hearing loss. It takes a skilled professional to do that. It sounds as if your audiologist is working with you. The only person who can explain the frequency frustration, and what is happening is the one who is wearing the hearing aids.

I hope your audiologist is using real ear measurement. I also hope s/he has explained the telecoils feature. That feature can help with a lot of the assistive technology that is installed in venues like theaters, worship centers, meeting halls, etc. It can also be helpful in noisy social environments. There are devices besides that costly Roger Pen device that are far less expensive. There are also several apps that can be used on smartphones that will transcribe speech into text.

Keep working on that adjustment, and don't hesitate to go back if you feel it isn't set correctly. You have to be 'the judge' of that.