@tlb101175, a very Good Morning
I can understand much your feelings, words and the experience you have been through with your son, as I went through a similar experience with the AEDs I have tried. I had so many side-effects, all of you have mentioned in your post and some others, affecting much my whole life. But thankfully, I am well again since I have been treated by an epileptologist and on CBD (from medical cannabis) and explored other alternative treatments. So, do have hope!!!
I understand that your son is seeing a neurologist. Please do consider seeing an epileptologist, that has made a great difference in my epilepsy treatment.
The neurologist I was seeing in 2019 also recommended seeing a sleep doctor, who gave me more drugs. The sleep deprivation I was having was due to the AED I was taking and adding more drugs has not helped me. The sleep doctor gave me Alprazolam and though I could sleep, I had terrible nights of sleep with so many nightmares. After some time, Alprazolam stopped working (the body got used to it) and the doctor wanted to increase the dosage. Thankfully, I did not follow the sleep doctor's recommendation and changed doctors. The new doctor, still a neurologist at that time, has weaned me off the Alprazolam little by little, as it could result in more seizures. To have a night of better sleep, I started with yoga nidra practices, which have helped me much. I still continue with it, daily. This year, I have been diagnosed with SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth), most probably caused by the last AED I have taken.
I do very much agree that many doctors nowadays are not concerned with the whole body's health and that many of them are more about more and more medication. This is very well shown in the movie with Meryl Streep "First do no harm", available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xY9ZMGK5Hbs
Seeing an integrative medicine doctor could be an option. Integrative medicine combines conventional medicine and complementary therapies from very ancient medicines such as acupuncture, ayurveda and Chinese medicines. Different from conventional medicine, it treats the patient as a whole and not just his or her illness. Here is more information on it, in case you are interested: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/21683-integrative-medicine. I got to know integrative medicine by reading the book of Dr. Cynthia Li (Brave New Medicine). With such an approach, I took gluten out of my meals and my seizures were reduced by 60%, without all the terrible the side-effects of the AEDs I have taken. Dr. Cynthia Li was a conventional doctor and became an integrative medicine doctor because of her hard journey in the treatment of her autoimmune disease. Besides her book telling us about her journey, there are many videos on YouTube. One of them that I like much is this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VZrY2vSbws&t=136s.
God bless you and your son!
Chris/Santosha