I have now stopped daily Lorazepam and Seroquel, one for anxiety and one for sleep. I can still take the Lorazepam when I need to (when I’m around my mother and sisters mainly).

I was able to do it quickly because of changes I made to my diet and activity level.

I exercise vigorously (different for everybody) radically changed my diet to a modified Keto ( high protein and fat, very little carbohydrates and no refined sugar. I also cut my caffeine intake by seventy five percent.

All of these changes and those to come followed the reading of a book by a psychiatrist by the name Palmer. The book is called “Brain Energy” it may have saved my life as I had planned my suicide.

Turns out I have very low testosterone the symptoms of which mimic depression, just got the test results.

I was not surprised to find that all but one of the remaining medications suppress testosterone production.

I’ve been sick since I was six years. Nine years of therapy in my twenties and my life flourished.

I was put on a low dose of Zoloft at 35. I am 60 now and a month ago I was on twelve meds, six psych meds and six meds to deal ( ineffective at that) with the side effects.

They do not know for sure what causes mental illness of any kind but the have hundreds of meds to treat it.

Therapy cost $200 to $400 a session unless you’re in a big city, then the sky is the limit. Fifteen minutes to prescribe a med, $90.00. Exercise free. Dietary changes actually saves you money.

The big difference; no one makes any money if you start walking a mile or two eat better food and get healthier. No doctors no insurance companies, no pharmaceutical companies, just us!

Up until a month an ago I was an adherent, just give me another pill. I have had just about every intervention they have. Suicide seemed like the only option. For years I was suicidal planning and looking for opportunities. This time I was ready to do it and somthing. told me to start doing my own research. I found the book I wrote about and kept digging and I keep digging.

What I have learned is I must take responsibility for my own care.

The doctors don’t have any real answers (ECT the gold standard for many disorders is only 65% effective) and I must take responsibility for healing.

I’m still on a lot of meds and I have a long way to go, but I’m off two I never thought I would be able to stop.

All the changes have been with my doctors support, sometimes I had to point in the direction I wanted to go, but to her credit she has supported and encouraged me.

I feel the best I have in decades. I am no longer suicidal. I have hope and I feel better about myself. What started as an effort not to kill myself has lead to the possibility that the years I have left could be useful and productive.

I wish you all the best on your journey. Changing anything can be hard let alone something that has so completely hijacked ones brain chemistry.

Be well and know that you are loved!