Sending another hug Rosy but relish those hugs from family, and don’t be afraid to show your feelings. And definitely feel. In fact find a good place to scream.
Im wondering if you journal at all. Sometimes writing or drawing feelings can help.
And then take it one step at a time, one memory at a time and consider what you need now to live this new life.
Wish we could just sit and have a cup of tea.